GET UP, STAND UP

"SIT THE FUCK DOWN!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

It's been about a year since I really lost my temper. The kind of "lost" that makes my head feel like it is going to explode.  The kind of "lost" that leads to unfortunate words and incidents.  

It is a funny way to describe it: "lost".  Really I "found" my temper.  I keep trying to hide it from myself.  I would like to "lose" it completely, to never find it again.

I went to see Robert Plant on Wednesday night.  This is truly one of the most rare and precious occurrences in my life.  Even a few weeks before the concert I could feel the affect it would have on me.  How strong the energy is from the man and his music. How much it would put me back in touch with who I am, the way music gods always do.

The moon was full, and there had been a powerful blood eclipse that afternoon.  Magick was everywhere and the weather was decent-- a true St. Louis miracle! It was a perfect backdrop for the Mage to appear and sing his songs of clarity and brilliance.

And brilliant they are.  Robert Plant has reinvented himself.  I am writing about the concert and what Plant's music has meant to me more specifically in another post.  But I do want to say that this is a man whose voice I have heard during pretty much every emotion I have experienced.

Led Zeppelin, and to a lesser degree the Page and Plant albums, have been the back or foreground music when I have cried inconsolably, laughed uncontrollably, fucked, made love, made war, fallen in love, fallen out of love. During "good times/bad times/ you know I've had my share."

And in every situation the music has been a comfort to me.  Even sustaining.  When I was 14 I used to kiss Robert Plant's image every night before bed.  I have a picture on my wall right now of Robert Plant that has been hanging over my desk for the last eight years or so.  (I've been working on a story that was inspired by some of the Zeppelin mythology, and the shirtless, grinning Mr. Plant is both reminder and encouragement.)

There is absolutely no way I could have remained seated in his presence. Thankfully the security staff were of the same mind as I was.

"You don't have to sit down," one of the staff told me, with an amused look on his face after several people had complained about me.  "This is a rock n roll show."

It began when Plant started to sing his third song, the Los Lobos tune "Angel's Dance." Apparently, I was not complying with the rest of the tired, worn out baby boomers behind me and sitting down.  You see, I was the only one standing up. Had there been a lot of fans like me, there wouldn't have been any of the nonsense that followed.  It was simply that I was the only one.

Let me just pause here and tell you about something I have never heard a performer say: "Yeah it was a great show, everyone stayed in their seats except for a few of the really old familiar numbers.  I'm sure everyone could see the music, though.  And they all applauded politely before running out the door before the encore."

Yeah, never.  More likely is "let's skip that city next tour, they don't seem that into us."

I really think that the people that were yelling at me, harassing me, throwing ice and drinks at me, offering me $20 (which of course I did not accept, and caused great consternation: "she wouldn't take a whole $20?" Shit I wouldn't have taken $2000, and I could probably get a car for that!) thought that the musicians of stage should have chastised me and made me "behave".

Really.

I stood through an entire Stevie Ray Vaughan concert, and I was also one of the only ones. One guy a few seats back commented to me that I was an awesome fan for doing that.  I hadn't even been fully aware that I had stood through the whole concert.  And it wasn't even that we were sitting all that close, although it wasn't bad.

It is simply that standing is the only way to really show the performers the love and respect you have for the music.  Sometimes you have to stand because you are witness to one of the most moving and profound experiences of your life.

If you don't have that feeling, that you are in the presence of greatness, and just as they will stand as they perform and give all to the audience, then PLEASE sit in the damn balcony.  Or stay home and wait for the concert footage to come out.

When I was here in 2007 I learned the story of Beatle Bob and his quest to go to a live show every single night.  I danced with him, in fact, at the Euclid Records 25th Anniversary party at the Pageant.  I really admired his dedication, but did think it was a bit over the top!

Now that I have been living here for real, I understand why he feels he must act so strongly.  Based on the music reviewers, and many times on the people at the shows, I see why he feels he must be so committed.  There is so much great music in St. Louis-- and a surprising diverse array-- but the culture here is practically sonambulistic.

The thing that is really driving me to write, that I am trying to release, is not any guilt or sense of wrongdoing that I stood through the entire concert even though people opposed me so excessively and constantly (right up to the second to last song before the encore) but my sense of despair and guilt for not giving every bit of my focus to the man and his music.  (And Patti Griffin and Buddy Miller!)

And worse, at one point I was right there with the fucking "hoosgeoisie" in Jerry Springer land.  (Hoosgeoisie = bourgeouise + hoosier aka Missouri urban redneck.)

Just as Mr Mucho Grande himself was saying a few words between songs, the guy that kept throwing ice and part of his drinks screamed "Sit the fuck down!"

Like poor Bruce Banner, my temper turns me into a monster.  I snapped and my early childhood training in fighting, screaming, and cursing kicked in.  My head swiveled and at full volume and full intonation mimicry I responded with "Shut the fuck up!"

And like in comic books, as the words came out of my mouth everything seemed to freeze and become very quiet.  Probably much more quiet in my head than it actually was, but I was close enough that the band must have had to at the very least, pointedly ignore me.

I feel like a Catholic that just said "fuck" in church.  During Mass. While everyone was praying.

Inhale.

Exhale.

I read some horrible review in the Riverfront Times that mostly seemed to criticize the female fans that were there ("cougars" "wicca hippy chicks") and talk about how Plant is 62 years old and wasn't verbal enough or something. 

I hated that the adrenaline from the anger was still coursing through me after the show.  The moon was full and the music was still surging through me and that was all I wanted to feel.

There are people-- and I swear most of them are musicians!-- that can make you feel all the vast and wonderous possibilities one life can contain.  Being present to Plant's new music and new energy and his reinvention of himself gave me a whole new energy for my life.

And to see the Lion of Rock a little unsteady was actually a kind of honour.  That is not quiet what I mean, but I can't find the right word.  Plant is so powerful. So sure.  That unsteadiness was a bit like seeing Tina Turner giggle and blush.  Proof that he is still authentic and true-- if the new music wasn't proof enough.

As the days pass, the feeling of the argument with the other audience members is fading, and only the beautiful mystery of what that man's voice and song does to my soul remains.

I want to see shows where the audience is made up of people that feel young enough to stand, no matter what their age.  That want to dance and sing along and wave their hands in the air. That don't spend the whole concert yelling at one person that is standing.

Seriously, if sitting down and being comfortable is more important than please DO NOT SIT UP FRONT. Get a pair of opera glasses and sit somewhere else. CLEARLY the music is NOT that important. Comfort is. This is music!!!!! It WILL make you young again!!! You WILL live forever!!!   You can be HEALED!!!

Fuck sitting-- sit in your car or on the bus, or sit at your job or sit in front of your bloody tv or computer BUT BE PREPARED TO STAND UP WHEN THE MUSIC PLAYS!!! People in St Louis are in a coma. HOW ARE YOU GONNA ASK A FAN TO SIT DOWN SO YOU CAN SEE BETTER?  WHAT KIND OF PERSON ARE YOU?


I was experiencing a life altering moment.  I did not need any drugs or alcohol.  For me, that concert -- and others like it-- are what I am here on this earth to experience.  This beautiful music. There is no better way to spend ones time than to listen to music.  I am sorry that those people behind me didn't understand that.

I am sorry I lost my temper.  But it was worth it.

EDIT: My post on Plant himself http://laladyrae.blogspot.com/2011/06/robert-plant.html