BREAKING BAD HABITS

Today I found myself in a situation that I have been in before.  Even though deja vu had been falling on me all week, and the spirits have been loud and nasty, I did not hear the message until this morning.

Once again, I was about to launch myself into something with vague parameters and unrealistic expectations and a lot of work for me that may or may not bring any rewards.

I seem to be catching the bad patterns sooner and sooner.  I still get upset, explode, blame, throw a temper tantrum- but I move on quickly.

I know what needs to be done in my life.  There is a famous Hindu proverb  (so beloved by my beloved grandmother that she pre-arranged to have it included in her Memorial service).

"Help thy brother's boat across and Lo! thine own has reached the shore!"

I used to think that I had to "help" people fix their problems, or row their boats, to be of assistance.  Sometimes that meant me forcing my help or my opinions where they weren't wanted.  Sometimes I gave too much of myself to a situation where people undervalued my contributions.

Either way, I prefer my new perspective that is far more helpful to me and anyone I try to assist.  Now I look for those that are travelling in the same direction, headed for the same shore.  I try to ask what I can do to help them.  What they think they want.  Then I see if I have it to give.

Of course, had I pulled up alongside the Titanic, my tiny boat would have been able to save a few people, but not many.  And had I been adrift at sea and needed rescuing, the Titanic would have been no help for me.

I am learning to say no when the lifeboat is full.   It's been a little harder to politely refuse "rescue" from the sinking ship.

But I'm learning.

AND all this while I've been quitting smoking AGAIN! I really, really hope this is the last time I have to quit.  Sunday night I ran out of cigarettes.  On Monday I was jonesin' bad and I found an old "one-hit" (used for herb) and started smoking tobacco gleaned from the butts of American Spirit cigarettes in the ashtray.  I don't think the tobacco equalled even on cigarette.  I am going to run out tonight, and hopefully tomorrow I will have the resolve to just fully quit.  I am so sick of that disgusting habit, and also myself for constantly going back to it when I am "stressed".

One last aside, regarding the television show "Breaking Bad", I loved the writing and acting and direction.  It was a great show.  The writing especially was amazing.  But I really disliked that main character Walter White.   His greedy ambition in the face of death made me really sad.  But the other day I saw a meme or something from the show, I don't recall what, but I found myself thinking about it from a different perspective.

In fact, as I thought about the ending (he basically achieves no financial gain, leaves his wife and child in worse shape, kills people, turns into the worse kind of man, etc) I realised that the writer had demonstrated that, and what actually bothered me was the hero worship many men had for Walter White the bad guy.

Things are going haywire in the world right now, but there are a lot of new perspectives and views.   These were a few of mine recently.

If you are struggling through your own bad habits right now, check your natal chart against the planetary line up.  www.astropro.com has the best general forecasts, and www.astro.com will give you your basic natal and on free Thursdays, highlights of the aspects you are dealing with.  And if you are having communications difficulties or accidents, check out what is happening with Mercury and Mars right now.

Blessings!

EDIT:  The troll is back so I turned on comment modification.  I delete his comments because I just don't need to deal with this dude.  His comment was that Walter White was able to leave the money for his kid through his rich former partners.  That is true.  But money doesn't buy back a father, or buy a father that can be trusted.  Or time with his father that was wasted making drugs.  So whatever, troll.  I REALLY feel sorry for Mike Chin Hair, the troll (if you care, see a few posts down "God Is In The Rain, even for the trolls")  There isn't much to care about with Chin Hair though.  He's  one of the zombies.