Wednesday, December 21, 2011


...hetero is good too...  ;o)

So, tonight is the solstice, which means that tonight is the longest night of the year.  Tomorrow morning the sun will be "re-born" in strength and begin to grow towards summer.

In days of auld the Yule log would be lit with a bit of saved ember from last years fire.  In our days of electricity it is difficult to imagine just how important that first "waxing" sunrise  was, especially in cold climates. 

Even in these days of modern miracles-- the "end of the world as the Mayans knew it", the New Age of Electronic Fire-- it is important to celebrate the Lights of the Season: The light of the sun, the light of candles, the light of child newborn to the world. 

It doesn't matter what you celebrate, or how, it is only important that you do celebrate! 

Hope you have a Merry Yule and Happy Holidays!!!!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011


So I posted this on facebook in response to this article about Pat Robertson's comments regarding this SNL Skit:

Why does Robertson think it is okay for Muslims to kill people when their religion is satirized?  Does he mean his perception of our culture is that it is okay for people to kill over religion but not Christianity? Is that really the thrust of it? It is always about power or money really.

It's so obvious to me that these people worship a very weak God that they actually have no faith in.  If you really believe that your God is mighty and your way is the best way why not live the fullest of that belief?  Moreover, why is it so important to him that people he doesn't even like or agree with are making fun of his God?

See that is the real thing.  You don't get insulted unless you would be complimented.  No one takes offense if they don't give a shit about the person expressing the opinion.  ...Unless they want power over that person for some reason.

Is it possible these people REALLY feel persecuted living among us? If all the haters got their own worlds would they be happy? We are all so aware of the seeming unceaseless diversity of viewpoints, cultures, etc  But I wonder sometimes if we are mature enough as a species to handle it? With 7 billion people on the planet, we all need to learn to cooperate a little more.

And if your Diety is so awesome than I would leave the fights up to It.

Then someone posted "Can we get Kim Jong Il back in exchange?"

I responded with a "lol" and then:

He is just such a stupid narrow minded hater that I really don't care about him, but I did think that skit was funny. I read the article just to see the "underside" of the humur, the "tragedy" that makes the "comedy" and I was like wtf with that statement about bodies in the street being okay? Okay with who? (I mean, outside of those people that did that.)

I think all reasonable humans are going to have to stop caring about ,what someone else thinks about their own personal opinions. So I suppose I should not actually even care about what he thinks about our acceptance of bodies in the street. SO I guess I just ignore him????

Maybe once you realise how ridiculous another person is to you, you just have to stop paying attention to them altogether.

EDIT: Like why I even have the reaction of him being a "stupid narrow minded hater" Because I think myself an intelligent broadminded lover in response to him? I need his idiocy to assert my superiority?

....Just a little afterthought too, is why their are no comedy shows on the Christian networks, and no Christian comedians.  Comedy and tragedy are very linked, and the ancient greek playwrights used to say that comedy was the more difficult of the two.

I think this is because it really depends on seeing the tragedy from another viewpoint, and religious zealots see nothing humorous in the world because they cannot see from any other viewpoints but their own.  There is no room for humour.  Or it is mean-spirited, vengeful comedy.

Monday, December 12, 2011


"I have no body:
I make endurance my body..."

Ron Athey and I do not know each other. I have never been able to actually observe Athey's work. I have met him and spoken to him a few times. I have vague retro-memories of him at Vinyl Fetish when it was on Melrose and owned by Joseph Brooks, in the 1980's. 

Really, I suppose I should say I know "of him".

However, Ron Athey's work has effected my life in deeply profound ways.  And his work and explorations have expanded the things I believed possible to such a degree that I have to say the world became a less frightening, less chaotic, and more filled with possibilities than movies like the Matrix.  

Athey 's performances have contributed to my ever expanding beliefs about the limits of the body, and the mind-body connection.  Ron Athey is as much a part of my motivation for beginning a yoga practice and strengthening of my own physical capabilities as my own vanity, health problems, or desire to learn the secrets of the anciet yogis-- like levitating and transcending violent deaths.

(During my own "bleeding/ female trouble" years with those uterine cysts and in the hospital, the whole extreme body art movement- not just Athey- often gave me the endurance to carry on.  What is one's own life but a long performance piece? Won't we all suffer greatly for our art? And somehow I can find the strength to continue another day.)

Athey is most often compared to Bob Flanagan but Flanagan was hetero-identified, if I recall, and more importantly, had cystic fibrosis. I've heard Athey called a secular (and sexual) Sufi, but again, for superficial reasons.  To convey the more shocking, self-mutilating aspect of Athey's work.

A mutual acquaintance of Athey's called him a "true Warrior". And I agree. But even warriors went to war, those berserkers, running into battle naked and mad.  Athey is better compared to a self-crucifying Christ. (And he does do a lot of exploration of Christianity in his work, as well.) Or perhaps a suspended Odin in performance.

He is slayer and slain, predator and prey, creator and destroyer.  He is Kali and Shiva; he is Anu and Tiamat both.

"I have no divine powers:
I make honesty my divine power."

Athey himself, as the instrument of his art, and as his corpus as the literal materials for creation of his art, transcends the physical dimension and embraces the most isolated and lonely places within it. His is the realm of the dark side of the moon.

Where is that place, in each of us, that must submit to be turned away from the light of the sun? For the moon to light the darkness, a trip into the abyss must be made, and part of us turned away from the light, and from the familiar, comforting vision of Terra Firma.

His work is so likely to produce a strong reaction in most people, that even in his mundane life his physical presence creates a visceral reaction...and that is even before you see his heavily tattooed face and body.

Athey comforts me as an extremely empathic psychic as well.  In the movie Unbreakable, Bruce Willis is an unbreakable, superhero strong, everyman.  He is the karmic or natural balance to Samuel L. Jackson's "bones like glass" character.  It makes sense to me that there is someone like Athey out there, given that even the photos on his website make me squeamish. (

Ron Athey's performances eclipse all times and dimensions and experiences.  It is not possible to be anywhere other than fully present when viewing Athey penetrating himself with the Throne of Judas, or whacking himself bloody and hen creating designs from his blood. 

And, like music, his performances are created so completely and organically between performer and observer, that each performance becomes a marker in the collabrative life or shared relationship of the artist and his art and beholder of the art.

You will not forget that moment. You can not forget that moment.  You want to remember.  The strength, the power, the willingness to surrender,  is always there. 

"I have no life and death:
I make the tides of breathing my life and death..."

He has a book project right now that he was kickstarting. I would pre-buy this in a minute. I donated money to it, too. It is called Pleading In The Blood.

The quotes are from:

Thursday, December 1, 2011


(Edit: This gets some random hits, people looking for the secret of immortality, or perhaps immortals, looking for kindred- and I realise that this post needs editing.  It is really two posts- one about my experiences with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Syndrome and anxiety and night terrors, and one about finding the key to immortality in a release of the fear of death.  The two were intimately linked in my life, but may not be helpful to someone else.  Also, I realise this title does not help the person alone in the night, searching for comfort.  I apologise.  I will edit it at some point.  I recommend this post on Retrocognition and Past Lives, as well.)

Until I was almost 30 years old I was afraid of the dark, afraid of being alone at night, and terrified of going to sleep in the nighttime.

A good chunk of my sexual life owes itself to this fact.  (Not all of it.)  And often, when a relationship would begin to fail me--when I would lie next to that same person and still feel alone and afraid--I would provoke late night arguments.

I also welcomed becoming exhausted, just to be able to go to sleep quickly.

It wasn't until after a nervous breakdown and a lot of therapy, that I began to be able to sleep in the dark and by myself. (And I got a diagnosis of post traumatic stress disorder syndrome, which is just a way of saying "you are reliving past trauma repeatedly and suffering great anxiety for it".)

Part of it, I now understand, was that I could hear spirits more loudly at night.  For one thing, for most of these years I lived in a world where there was no God or spirits.  Everything was empirical and explainable by science.  When a person died, they died.

It's just that late at night, it felt like someone was there. But I had no explanation for that feeling.

One reason the spirits would often become louder is that it was so hard to reach me back then. Good or bad spirits, they were spooky and cold. Sometimes they were actually trying to soothe me.  Or warn me about real danger (and that is whole other thing- that I had to shut myself off to my own intuition, when I could not accept the psychic or spirit world). But their presence was so unwanted by me I refused to entertain their existence at all.

Just before sleep is when psychically I become the most "open".  And night is when the spirits have the most likelihood of being able to manifest visually to the physical human eye.  When I was a adolescent especially, too many things went bump in the night.

So, I would already be in a state of anxiety, just because the fear was always lurking, waiting for an opportunity to arise.  And once it found an outlet, it was relentless.  I was in such a state of anxiety.  I would often spend from midnight to dawn with all the lights on, checking and re-checking every closet and cubby, certain that there was someone in hiding in the house.

The other thing that would keep me awake was the fear that I was going to die.  Anxiety attacks often mimic heart attacks physically.  But worse, sometimes they just make you feel really, really scared, and the left brain will look for something to hang all that fear on.

Sometimes I would fall asleep and then wake up from nightmares, or just wake up, and be alone in the middle of night, terrified until sunrise.  All sorts of terrors- both rational and irrational.  I was basically enthralled to fear and anxiety.  And I was always very conscious of how few people--indeed, usually there was no one-- that I could be open about what was happening to me. And if I was, I never felt like they really understand the depth of my fear.  (Fear is VERY personal, isn't it?)

People frequently remark to me that I am so open.  Often they will add that my openness was helpful to them for some reason.

I lived with such intense fear for so many years, and hid it so successfully, that many people are surprised to learn that I have even suffered at all!

Fear thrives in hidden places.  The more afraid you are, the more you have to hide, and the more you have to hide from things.

Moreover, you have not seen the true measure of a person until you have seen how they handle fear when it comes upon them.  If there is anyone out there that is as successful in hiding their fears as I was, then I want to be able to share my experience so that at the very least, they do not have to feel so alone.

The fear of death hung over me for no "real" reason for many years. Most nights that I was awake, wracked with anxiety, absolutely nothing was going on in my physical environment. There is no greater fear the fear of death.  It is the fear upon which all others are based, or formed. And I was plagued by it on a regular, consistent basis.

I was so afraid to admit this.  So ashamed that I could have lived through so many real things, only to be unable to overcome my own mind.

The fear was crippling and so was the shame of it.

I tried unsuccessfully to rationalise my fear away, but death does not appear to be rational.  And the fear makes it hard to think clearly anyhow.

I have recently come to the belief and way of life that fear is a warning that I have separated from my higher Self, or the Divine, however you might want to call it.  Fear is not my enemy.  However, it is also not something I want to live with for long periods of time.  It is an alarm.  The reason for fear is to be hunted down, and then the "noise" shut off.

It is ironic that once I conquered my fear of death, I was able to release a great deal of anxiety.  It really is a matter of making the decision that feeling good is the most important thing.  Not winning the fight, or being right, or having every circumstance conform to what is most desirable, or judging other people.

If each obstacle is met with determination, and the commitment to seek joy is reaffirmed after every encounter with negativity, the rewards become obvious.  The learning process to overcome fear and focus on good feelings, and good feeling thoughts, wasn't easy.  But being terrified and unable to sleep hadn't been easy either.

The novelty of fighting my own reactivity was perhaps, at first, what worked.  Although I do think learning to look for the best in any moment or situation, regardless of how bleak, is an extremely worthwhile experience.  I should mention it was reading Victor Frankel's Man's Search For Meaning that really opened me to this way of living.  This was a man in a "real" nightmare, and he had found a way out. I recommend the book to everyone, but especially to anyone living in fear.

And once I began living in a headspace where I was consistently trying to stay focused in the present moment, I became open to the idea of being immortal.  I began to see how flexible time is.

And, ironically, at that point it did not matter! With no fear of death, and a determination to live as totally in the present as possible, immortality didn't seem very urgent.

This is when I read the book 2150 A.D. by Thea Alexander. A book I believe is actually a probable future, although I think that it will continue to evolve as we move towards it. (In other words, I don't think the book is gospel.  We don't need to all cut our hair short and wear Logan's Run tunics.  But I agree that we as species are shifting from micro to Macro as humans.)

I not only believe that we will evolve to the kind of "utopia" described in 2150 A.D. I believe that I will live to see it in this incarnation.  That I will live to almost 200 years of age! And I think I will continue to look young and fabulous.

That's what I am aiming for anyhow.

It's not really immortality.  It is more a kind of controlled aging process and lengthened lifespan, I suppose.

I think that when we first came to this planet and this thing called "humanity" we lived for hundreds of years in our human forms.  And then we decided to come for shorter periods so that we could all come lots of times.  (Everyone is an "old soul" as far as I can tell.)  We got to experience being a lot of different things in different times and cultures.  Being both genders.  Being parent and child.  Rich and poor. Friend and enemy; friend and stranger.

For most of my life the thought of dying was terrifying, but my life was so often unbearable.  Not just in actual, empirical things that happened to me, but in my nightmares and visions. Only the daylight was safe to be alone, and even in the company of other people I was often terrified.  And I was so rarely happy or comfortable with who I was.

To think that I might have had to live that way for seventy years was bearable only in comparison to death- to the unknown. If I yearned for immortality when reading a vampire or supernatural novel, it was to escape the fear of death.  Not for a lengthening of the life I was living.

True Immortality has its drawbacks.  You can only live forever once. So if you want to live forever, make sure you really, really like your life.  Because there will be a lot of it. 

Of course, many people believe that you only live once, and some also believe that there is no life after this one. Maybe it is even more important to release all fear if all you have is this one mortal coil, so easily sprung?

Either way, open yourself to all the good the world has to offer you.

The real key to either life-- eternal or ephemeral--  is to live in each moment, and to live in the Love present in each moment, the joy.  That is what creates the space for whole lifetimes to exist within the span of minutes.

You live forever, eternal, youthful and vital and vibrant, in each moment as it comes.

The NowEver.

And if ever you are scared or anxious or alone in the dark, if you can draw some comfort from my experiences than I am glad for it.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011


There are no beliefs that I have held in the past that serve me anymore regarding relationships and sex and love.

I have been actively breaking as many of my past habits and thought patterns as I can uncover.  This has been very liberating.

It has also kind of left me at a loss as to how to proceed.

Under the code of the new operating system is an avowal to turn away from negative feelings as quickly as possible.  Not to repress or deny or justify them, to simply turn away. Let them go, without a sense of loss.  All arguments, resentments, "wrongs" etc.

It turns out that in matters of sex and romance my inability to turn away from unhappy feelings is sometimes because I can't let go of the individual person.  I want to be in love (or "in fantasy") with THAT particular person.  I want there to be a one and only soulmate so that I don't have worry that I made the wrong choice or ever be tempted again. 

I want to make a choice now so that I never have to choose again.  I want someone to agree to grow a that same rate and in a compatible direction with me, so that I know I will never be lonely, or, at least, I will never be alone.

And that doesn't seem realistic.

I don't have control over another person.  And while being alone can be lonely sometimes, it is often lonely being in a relationship, too.  And growth is more important to me.

If I really, really love someone, whether in a romantic way or otherwise, don't I want what is best for them? And if what is best for them is to not be in my life, shouldn't I be as happy at their parting as their arrival?

And from there I understand that I do not believe there could be another such wonderful person.  And then from there that perhaps I have some doubts about myself, or insecurities that I am not "good" enough for someone so wonderful. Or that I did something to mess it up. And perhaps can't forgive myself, or trust myself to move on.

Maybe I want to be "right".

None of these negative feelings go towards what I want, which is to prepare for and be ready to accept another equally or more wonderful person into my life when I have absorbed all of the understanding and expansion of myself from this experience.

It does not have to be sad. It is just old habits and useless thought patterns. And patience and understanding for myself during the parts where I stumble, and do feel sad. To just move on and look for the something better as quickly as possible.  Refocus on the things in the moment that I do like, that make me happy.

I am also now in a situation where I live with no expectation of anyone being in my life longer than is beneficial.  And if it is not beneficial for one, it really cannot be beneficial to both.  There is no power in living off another person. Vampires pay a price and live only in the dark.  I want to be able to walk in the sunshine. Even riding off into the sunset doesn't work for me.

I would not want to be in a relationship with someone because of shared property or comfort and give up my spiritual, emotional, or sexual growth.  And the promise of commitment really needs to be to one's own self.

And I am okay with the loneliness that sometimes accompanies this lifestyle, but what wears me out are the jealous and possessive feelings.  They crop up in the strangest places.  Inappropriate times and places and people.Sometimes without warning.

And so often regarding sex.  How could the person I love/lust/desire/crush even THINK about another person?  And then there is the loss of, or fear of the loss of, physical affection.  It is a sad day when awesome orgasms go away! But it seems that they go away even if I stay in the relationship.  And why would I deny someone I love the opportunity to have awesome orgasms with someone else?

And especially in a committed relationship? Why

Marriage and commitment is really about sex.  Sexual attraction is often mistaken for love.  Lust for another person is the ultimate betrayal.  There are people that cannot handle knowing their partners had sex with anyone other person-- even before they met.

Believing that another person is your one and only and forever and all lifetimes is why it hurts so much and feels like you are gonna die during a bad breakup. The belief that someone else was the sole proprietor of those good feelings. That something outside of oneself has power over life's goodness.

I have felt those really intense, irrational feelings before.  Stalking, crazy psycho death bitch from hell. It is because of her that I embarked on this journey to rid myself of unpleasant feelings. Psycho bitch usually emerged when I was unconsciously engaged in finding a relationship that would "complete" me, because I felt I was lacking.

(And then I attracted someone lacking, and continued to focus on the lack, making it worse and worse.  And even if someone did come along to "complete" me, once completed, it was time for me to move on.)

So I am already predisposed to viewing these needy feelings as coming from an undesirable place. Even in the beginning stages of attraction when they feel good, I am wary of them.  If they become to overwhelming, even in a good way, I now try to redirect, or if I have to, disengage, when I feel any jealousy, or speculation.

I know many people that have said they got married to be sure they never had to be without sex. Men and women.  And I really understand that. Regular sex is the most desirable aspect of monogamy, in my opinion.

I also understand that there is a real growth and beautiful mystery in committing to cultivate one relationship at the exclusion of all others.  I also understand the need for commitment in a relationship with children.

But all of this heartache and jealousy and guilt and possessiveness!

Why isn't sex like eating? Or pooping? Or breathing? It is a strong creative and vital force.  We have birth control now.  Why do we continue to feel like we have to regulate and control sex?

I certainly have not been completely monogamous in most situations. Is it that I am so fickle in my affections that I worry my lover is going to run off, like I sometimes do?

And, again, I cannot control anything another person does.  Manipulate, perhaps. Sometimes. But to no satisfaction.  

I don't want to feel possessive of someone else.

Really, why should I be jealous if someone I love is in love with someone else? If there is really only one person that can fulfill my needs or desires at any given time, I hope it is me. Because I have not had much luck controlling the behaviour of other people-- much less another person's feelings!

So, if someone enters my life, it is because of mutual attraction.  Not because I have made their approval or attention or feelings more important than my own.  So why do I expect-- in the form of jealousy and heartache-- another person to make my feelings and desires more important than their own?  Especially someone that I purport to love?

I hope you weren't reading this all to the end, waiting for a big happy ride off into the sunset conclusion.

If you were, it is 42. ;o)

Saturday, November 26, 2011


Now that I have come to understand what a great role my thoughts and feelings play in the world that I inhabit, my "reality", I understand the value of failing at something.  Especially something I have failed at repeatedly.

Now I see that whenever I try something new, and it doesn't work out, I am just learning how to get better at focusing and creating what I want. And there are some things that are more difficult for me than others.  Those same situations that keep popping up, even though the names and places might have changed.

A situation I don't like might be post-manifestational awareness that I have been mis-creating.  An opportunity for me to reevaluate, refine, refocus. Unhappy feelings are just the warning sign that I separated myself from Source, from my own Inner Being, from God/dess. A chance to ask myself "what do I want?" And the answer will be very clear, when I am in the position of knowing what I definitely don't want.

Where I used to cry and moan for a saviour or salvation to come from the outside and "rescue" me, I now look for the "rescue" thought and feeling inside of me. What is the next better feeling thought I can find? What feels a little better than how I feel now?

Somewhere underneath the mud and muck is the golden brick road that leads to the fertile green land that I seek.

The good feelings and good feeling thoughts are the stepping stones that, moment to moment, will lead me to where I want to be.

If you don't believe that reality is created through your own thoughts, or that you choose your experiences buffet-style from the reality you are experiencing, or even that how you feel is a decision, and happiness is a choice that you must keep making, I understand.
You might live in a world that is ruled by a God or by arbitrary Nature.  It might be a reality that is the same for everyone. Perhaps it can be explained through a holy book or through scientific observation, but in this world you do not have any control over what comes to you. 

You might live in a world where unpleasant things are destined to happen in unknown quantities, but always to happen in some measure.  And that there is no way to turn them away, or find value in them.  That they can only bring harm and suffering.

I lived in that world for many years.  I have great respect for it, and am well acquainted with its parameters. It is never far from me, and frequently overtakes me, like drowsiness can come upon you in field of poppies.

But I just keep reminding myself that even if I do share the same reality with everyone, and have little or no control over it, still, how much better to have a compass that points at what I want? Still, how much better to view each failure as another step towards success?

How much better- in any circumstance, in any situation, in any reality!-- to have the image in my mind of what I want?

Then everything I look at will be seen through the lens of what I want, making the joy that is possible in any moment come forward clearly.

And I do believe that we create our reality, through our thoughts and our feelings and our awareness.  I do believe that what we can see in our minds we can draw to us in our outer lives.  I do believe that feelings, that emotions, are the "Guidance System" that lets us know if we are really in tune with who we are.

Everything has a nature of attracting towards itself.  If you are looking for a football player, you are more likely to find him on the field, playing the game.  You can be sure he will know of others like himself.  And know them in much greater detail than you.

Look for what you want, and you will find more and more of it.

I have learned that when I stumble it is only because the path is covered up with my own lack of faith, or fear, or resentment, or guilt.  I have to look harder for the spots of gold to lead me.

I have to let myself stumble. 

That I have stumbled over this part so many times in only an indication that it is an important part of the journey.

I can't let someone else take me down their path.  I can't have anyone else determine what is yellow brick, and what might be a smear of paint on an old highway.

Every failure is an opportunity to improve on my future success.

Every stumble is still a step.

Thursday, November 10, 2011


...not cheese.. ;o)

Last night was a grand party in the moonlight, here and on the astral plane.

Here, there was a superbright planet Mars and a real close asteroid.

On the astral there was a party hosted by two of the greatest pairs of lovers, ever.  The Lord and the Lady, on this night the as the Sun and Moon (sun-moon opposition, or full moon), and Mars and Venus (The Host and Hostess of this sun-moon opposition, as the Rulers of the Houses of Scorpio and Taurus).

The party went from the Autumn square in the Four Seasons, and was celebrated by the Fae and the Five Elemental Kingdom, to the bottom of the deepest depths and otherworldly portals of the ocean, and all the way to the entrance to the Underworld.

The whole planet was glowing green and pink, like the Heart Chakra of the Galaxy.  And in that light everything was clear.  And the golden nets that lay like lattice over the planet were lifted, and the moonlight fell with dense precision, like the lightening bolt that strikes the crumbling tower.

Venus was demonstrating to me how to remove all the envy and jealousy from green, so that all remained was the power of growth and nurturing and creativity.

At that bright moment, as the nets were lifted, and all the fears and obstacles and problems swam away into the mouths of circling sharks, never to be seen again, I understood what the Lady was showing me.

I saw that she who embodies and inspires Love, and creativity and growth-- sometimes through destruction-- cannot be jealous of that Love's expression.  To have this fear be lifted, and be able to love freely and without possession, to be certain that there is enough for everyone: that is to receive the Goddess.

And the Goddess does not need to hoarde this power for herself.  She would be lonely.  By allowing that each person on earth contains the multitudes needed to satisfy the worship of any thousands of Dieties, we are all free.

As the heart is possessed of unlimited Love, the soul is possessed of unlimited Spirit.

To know that is to have true power.

Monday, November 7, 2011


People always tell me how strong I am, like that means I don't get hurt. Actually, if you are strong you get hurt worse. The hydra doesn't eat you right away, you have to fight it, and all of its multiplying heads.
But I will tell you something else, the most important thing: I am not strong because I am not afraid, or because I fight, I am strong because somehow I always remember that Love is the most powerful force on earth. Sometimes I might forget for awhile, but my strength is knowing that Love is the only real power. 
That is my Samhain gift to you: Love.
 Happy Magickal New Year!!!

Sunday, November 6, 2011


Samhain begins tonight, 6 November, at sunset, until tomorrow night, 7 November, if you are in the Western Hemisphere (Canada/North Central and South America).  If you are across the pond then your Samhain is actually from sunset on the 7th til sunset on the 8th. (See my last post for the explanation of what Samhain really is and how to calculate it. )

This is the last "day" of the old magickal year, and for me, this New Magickal Year will also be known as Year One of the New Age.  

Not too long ago I was talking to someone -- a non-magickal person-- and I was explaining my views that the fiction novel 2150 A.D. was actually an accurate vision of our future, that I felt that I would live to see that future in my current incarnation, and that in this future all people would be like Jesus (have supernatural powers, have love for all mankind, and teach compassion and understanding).

The man I was talking to said, "You think humans are going to do all that in just 140 years?"

I replied no, that it would take humans 2150 years.  (It took him a moment.)

The Mayans were not wrong about this being "the end of the world as they knew it."  Until 100 years ago a time traveller from the distant past would have still been able to function in our world.  There were steam engines true, but in the last 100 years humans have altered themselves and the planet to such a degree as to be almost unrecognisable.

There are now more of us than any other species outside of insects.  We are capable of feeding the entire planet.  We can go to outer space in our physical bodies.  (Those Mayans got there much faster and easier via astral projection, in fact, tonight, don't be surprised if you bump into the Mayan calendar crew here via astral projection.  Moreover, a lot of the ghosts people see are actually astral travellers, Mayan or otherwise.)

My ritual tonight will include the familiar things: letters to the dead, flowers and candy and candles lit as offerings to the spirits of my ancestors and those loved ones that have left this physical realm.  It will include a toast to my own immortality with beets and grapefruits, and pomegranate that I might pass easily between the worlds and remain fertile in mind and body.

I will end my pre-Samhain fast from alcohol and have a drink with the living and the dead.  I will  divine the future, bless and release all old fears, resentments, angers, and guilts from the past (de-FRAG).

I will roam the astral plane with the spirits and entities and gather power and strength to make it through the chaos that is coming as we globally create a new world, a new and better world.  I will close the doors on all illness, poverty, and lack that I can find, and open the doors to greater abundance.

I will send out my blessings to all that I love, and especially to places like Findhorn Garden in Scotland, and the Old North Community Gardens here in St. Louis.  This I see will be the most difficult for the non-magickal people, finding clean and nutritious food over the next 7 years, and the stronger the community (and magickal) gardens, the better.  I do have faith that we can clean up the planet, but I don't know that it is going to be easy.

Many people that are stuck in rigid belief systems will have a problem as witches and others begin to demonstrate powers that had been formally seen only among "Gods".  Our governments and leaders are mostly ruled by fear and greed and lack. As New Age leaders emerge and more people become psychic, the divisions between us will temporarily seem much greater.

The Darth Vaders of the world will not be happy to see the Jedi's gaining strength and power.  And even Darth Vader was once a Jedi.  For muggles, Harry Potter is as frightening as Lord Voldemort.  Compassion for the fearful is a necessity.  It is their world that is dying.  Allow them to mourn, even as we celebrate the birth of the New Age.

Centre yourself in Love.  In the Macrocosmic Oneness of all.  "Crossing Over" really means becoming one with all of humanity; returning to the one great Human Spirit from whence we all come and all return.

The truth is, we are often closer to our enemies than our friends.  Often our greatest lessons come from those that oppose us. We all learn more from what we don't like, than what we do.  Discord brings diversity, and diversity brings health and a greater abundance of choices.

If you keep yourself clear of negative emotions, then no one with harmful intent can touch you.  Meditate on this tonight with me, if you'd like.

Blessed Be.  And Happy New Year!

Monday, October 31, 2011


Happy Halloween!  This is the day for non-magickal peeps to celebrate the dead.

The "real" Halloween, Samhain (sau-wen), occurs when the sun reaches 15 degrees of Scorpio.  A literal "doorway" opens in the Cosmos.  The door between this world and the next world; the world we come from and that we return to when these earthly incarnations are done.

The Druids knew of it, and it was their New Year.  The Druids are the reason it is an "eve" as well.  (Halloween is a contraction of All Hallows Evening.)  The Celts believed that a new day began when the sun set.  As the day was born in darkness, so too was the year.  The time between Samhain and the winter solstice was the "night" of the year.

The weeks before Samhain were also the slaughtering time for the pastoral* Celts. It is true that Samhain is the time when all the spirits and entities from the other worlds can come to visit this realm, but it is mostly the spirits of the dead.  But many of the more ghoulish aspects of Samhain are as likely attributable to the mass butchering of the herds.**

I usually begin the Samhain celebration on All Hallows, followed by the Roman Catholic All Saints, then the Meso-American Day of the Dead.  From the 3rd on is a good time to prepare for the night of Samhain itself.  Samhain is the first night I will use pomegranate seeds in a ritual.  I burn Hell Money for my ancestors, as the Chinese do for their spirits on their lunar New Year in Aquarius.  I usually write letters to all my peeps on the other side, or at least write the names of all the dead, so they might know they are remembered.

Happy Halloween!!!!

In 2011 Samhain begins at sunset on the 6th of November and ends at sunset on the 7th.

*Pastoral as in "pasture", meaning they kept cattle and sheep, as opposed to agricultural. In fact, Samhain's twin, and the other half of the year for the Celts, Bealtaine, the ancestor of May Day, was when the newly mated cattle and sheep were blessed, also during a Fire Festival.  Samhain and Bealtaine are still the month names for November and May in modern Irish.

**My favourite Circle chant for Samhain evokes the colours of this time of year and their meanings:
Red blood
White bone
Black earth
Harvest home!

Say this as you move around the Circle, and pick up speed in both movement and chanting to truly "raise spirits".

Tuesday, October 25, 2011


The first 10 Days That Shook The World was back in the Russian Revolution at the beginning of the last century.  Sometime in August I began thinking about the John Reed book, the movie Reds, and those dates.  I wouldn't call it a full on premonition or vision, I don't have a lot of details, but I did foresee that these days will alter the future of this world.

If you have been doing the 30 day meditation to Samhain, you perhaps experienced an epiphany this weekend, so great as to draw the Aurora Borealis to the Missouri sky.

The following is from my Lady Rae facebook status for today:

Maybe the light shone on you this weekend and the path before you is clear and well-lit... and maybe it is a little more complicated than that, but you are still trying. We are coming to the final third of the countdown to Samhain. The next ten days should prove to be very interesting in the non-magickal world, as we globally shift to a higher consciousness. Tomorrow is the Scorpio New Moon. Tonight is powerful going into your own darkness and emerging with treasure. Align your self with your Self today, and live with conscious intent.

Between now and Samhain the whole world is open, and everything can change.  Let your light shine, and dream your dreams of a new and better world.

Sunday, October 23, 2011


Isn't it funny how the things that are the most difficult to do, the hardest things to get through, are often not even visible to the outside eyes, or the eyes of other people? 
The most honest thing on the planet, something I have never known to be dishonest, is my emotions. The Heart is capable of alchemy, if heavy sorcery is used. She can transmute anger to depression, unhappiness to submission, love to hate, and lust to love, but She cannot lie. 
And like the moon, sometimes, when I need her light in the darkness the most, she is with the daytime sun. 
If the way to my heart were always the same, I wouldn't have to wander; but it is always my heart that I am following.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011


Full moon in Aries
Sun in Libra:
Two couples, always dancing,
Moon and sun,
Venus and Mars.
Inner and Outer,
Heart and Body.

Love is found at the end of

This is my Lover's Story.

I returned to my own self
after a long journey
in exile
and slept the night
in my own skin.

Awoke with the twilight.

I took my broom from the witch corner
and shook out the old stardust
and wisps of moonbeams past;
made an offering of it to the pixie legions, to sparkle up
the night,
and followed their Tinkerbell flocks
and away.

On the astral plane
I unleashed the butterflys of Love,
sent the Peace doves soaring,
and herded the bluebirds of Happiness
closer to your door.

I pealed the bells of Laughter
Shook the Smile trees
so the fruit would fall
like rain;
And rode the milk white
Moon dragons across the galaxy-sky.

And everywhere I went
there were colours
and lights
and people dancing
and singing,
making merry as they met,
and even as they would part,
merry, merry, and merry again.

Love is never ending, unceasing, always present.

And every person I saw
was so powerful, abundant, healthy, happy!
All were transformed,
and none had quarrel with each other;
and sometimes even, enemies were embracing
and foes confiding.

And I felt so buoyant
Like that floating laughing tea party
in Merry Poppins!
All of life should be such merry pop-ins!
Tea in chalk drawings, and flying kites
and talking to birds and sunbeams.

And as I held on to Merry's parrot umbrella
and floated briefly over the astral Thames,
I saw through her eyes
and her magick
that made those ordinary things
take on new meaning.

That it was not the chalk drawing
or the sunbeam
or the feed the birds lady
that created the magick.

It was the woman
that could take ordinary things
and make them extraordinary.

And my eyes became wide and wonderous
and as if the lens of them had
become inside out, backwards,
convex instead of concave, or
vice versa.

These God-like creatures that I was encountering
on the Astral Plane,
during a first class full moon flight,
these bright and happy and beautiful people,
were the same people for whom
I often found myself
unable to tolerate even momentarily
without temper loss
on the Mundane Plane.

My eyeballs were so backward
and twisted around every witch-way,
I could see inside of my own head,
really far, deep into all the caverns and

I could see all the spooky dungeons
and the old torture racks,
the court room chambers and judges chairs.
I saw all the captives I had taken and held hostage
over the years,
all the grudges and disappointments.

I passed rooms filled with discarded chips
from my shoulders,
rows of powder stained duelling pistols,
lengthy and detailed documents of wrongs
and anger and resentments.

My new eyes showed me how
those shadows played before
me, obscuring the magick and miracles that are present
in every moment;
disguising the Avatar-- Buddha, Jesus, Aradia--within
a fleshsuit and manners.

The Dalai Lama claims
that the highest spiritual reality can be found
Right now.

Bert is often out, of a sunny day
in London town,
making chalk drawings on the sidewalk,
for all to see,
but it is the eyes of Merry Poppins
that makes it come to life.

And I felt like I'd awakened from a dream
within a dream
although I was not sleeping.

And the pixies shrieked with profane
and disrespectful laughter at my epiphany,
circling me like flying dervish dancers,
covering me in my own cobwebbed moondust.

And the Dragons assured me
they knew the way home,
if I wanted a ride
so I could ogle the old world with my witch-way eyes.

And I said yes,
and I looked at everything,
and it was all new,
it was all beautiful.
Just like before.

And you were there.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011


Right now a great tide of people are in motion. In this country and around the world.

If you are a leader, you should be there.  The people have gathered.  They want to hear what you have to say.  Everyone that isn't occupying should be writing a manifesto! A declaration! Write (or speak or sing or draw or photograph or dance or ...) how you think the world should be?  Can you envision a better world? People are listening right. Seeking.

This is the Gathering.

The occupations are as much about sparking creative solutions to this situation of so many have nots and very few haves.

Part of that battle in countries like ours, in "developed" countries like ours means that we will have to scale back.  Much more than recycling.  A whole way of life has to change.  It might mean becoming "poorer".  It is ironic that the poorest person in this country is wealthier (even simply in available services and civic responsibilities for health and safety; the ready availability of straws and ice cubes; or in the fact that it is possible to live solely on foraging in urban and suburban garbage).

One of the most beautiful things about this Non-Violent Revolution is that the call is for wealth to be distributed evenly.  This is not really about class or race or religion or even nationality.  The whole idea of money is changing.

Money wants to be free.

Now everyone needs trace the wealth back themselves, which means chasing My Own Natural Energy Yield out into the world and through the labyrinth of economics and politics.

There is a growing awareness that there IS enough for everyone.  That no one needs to go without the basic necessities of life.  Where fifty years ago it was considered a sign of success to make a lot of money, now it is considered a sign of greed, and sometimes even a sign of spiritual failure.

Right now this is focused on "corporate greed".  But when you work for a large corporation, like an oil company, you really begin to see how a corporation is nothing more than a large group of people. Especially when you have to sit through one of those infernal corporate meetings with slideshows and coffee carafes on the table.

And in any large group of people where there is competition (which is based on a feeling that there is not enough for everyone), greed is going to lead.

And there are many people that feel competition has to be cutthroat and painful. I think there is even an idea that the more it hurts and the more people suffer, the more harder won the victory.

One thing "developed" countries like ours have to offer is that since we "developed" away from all real labour associated with the comforts of our lives.  There are people in this country that really have no idea how to live without a car and a fast food drive through.

Skills considered basic for survival in all times past are video and computer games.  We have so much time we can live the lives of other people (television shows).  Compared to all people just 200 years ago, we have armies of mechanical servants: washing machines, refridgerators, leaf blowers.

The simple availability of music available to any person on this planet is incomparable to any other time in recorded human history.

We are no longer in danger from nature on a day to day basis (hurricanes, earthquakes, volcanoes-- these we still have not yet conquered, but we will soon), nature is in danger from us.

Things have to change.  There is enough food, so everyone must be fed.  There is enough shelter, so all must have homes.  There is enough medicine, enough caring, enough knowledge, enough time- there is enough of everything that is human.

So now those that feel they know the way to a better world, go-- seek your followers and lead.

Sunday, September 25, 2011


I think this movement will, in 140 years, be viewed as one of the seeds of the Macro world as described in the book 2150 A.D.

These are all status updates and comments I wrote about this situation, mostly in response to someone's comment that "a bunch of people waving signs and yelling won't do anything".
How non-violent occupation works: Resources must be diverted to support the sudden population. This can be as simple as all the influx of human waste, or as complicated as staffing a new police force. In an already strained economy, the government does not have much to spare (especially with all those $8 cups of coffee-- Marie Antoinette, anyone?). SO as the ranks swell, they become less and less contained, until they dominated the microsytem-- in this case, the most important microsystem in the US. Now business as usual can change.  Now business as usual HAS changed, and can be made to change more permanently, in a manner that is better for all people everywhere.
  This is the first time this has ever been done non-violently. Watching the livestream from Liberty Square I feel joy for humanity. This is a beautiful movement of courage and daring. These are people that are really seeing that there IS enough for everyone. It just needs to be properly distributed.
 The longer this goes on the stronger it will become. I see thirty thousand, more. I see deeply shifting changes. I see an understanding between the "sides" that has never been seen before.
 You know, someday, clicking "like" is going to be how people make money. One day we will realise that money is human energy. It can buy honey but only if bees make it. There are enough humans, there is enough money. 

Wednesday, September 21, 2011


"Ceci n'est pas une pipe" was a painting by the surrealist Magritte.  The painting was of a pipe, and the words were underneath it.
So last night at grocery store I bumped into one of my favourite people. I really love this dude, he's this crazy sax player that just drifts around the country, following the Grateful Dead sometimes, or just wherever he has gas to drive to. 
Anyhow, after I saw him, for some reason it really struck me how, in this modern world, and especially this country, music has become something recorded that we listen to over and over again, but the experience of being a musician is completely temporal. A musician is only a musician when s/he is performing (or composing, etc). 
I think that is why it is so bothersome to music lovers with the whole packaged star like Brittany Spears or someone. Yes, these people are musicians, but they are so aimed at the consumer, they are about the music as recorded.  As a product to be consumed.
Someone like my sax player friend does not even think in words. He does not perform for fame or a record contract. He plays where he is, in whatever circumstance, because that is who he is. That is how he communicates his soul to the world. And the world is lucky to have someone willing to have that conversation with it, and to bring beautiful sounds into it.
Music might actually be the only real and true, unfailing religion in my life, despite my current spiritual proclivities.  Music is ephemeral, and must be constantly re-created, and will always be different, because it is created out of each moment, and every moment is different, no matter how much effort is made to re-create exactly as before.
A piece of music only exists when it is being performed. A recording of it is a recording. Sheet music is a piece of paper with symbols on it.  
Music is completely intertwined and inseparable from the performance.
And therefore, the performer.
 And the moment of the performance-- the place, the people, the landscape...
I believe that music is one of the most important things you can do with your time. Whether listening to it or creating it. 
 I also believe that music will seek a listener, in the same way a bee seeks a flower. I also believe that I am a Listener that Music wants to hear It. I try to always look for other people that are like me, musician or non-musician alike. I love a world filled with music.
Tony left town, I think he's headed south. If you see a crazy sax player with tribal tats on his face, give him some of your time, and your most reverent listening.  (And some money would be good too!) 
 It will be worth it.  The music he is making will include a little bit of you, in that moment, wherever you are.


You know, seriously, maybe we "tolerance" people should just tolerate these really crazy people called conservatives. They really do seem to be the new minority, or even more accurately, a dying breed. Let the zealots fight each other to death, I am going to stay out of it from now on.
If you hear me talking about politics, please feel free to remind me of this. I have a lot of perverted sex to have, bizarre topics to discuss, pagan worship to do, banned books to read, and devil music to listen to.
Thank you.
 (This is post of one of my better facebook status updates. :o)

Friday, August 12, 2011


This is the true sun-moon opposition.  This is the brightest full moon, reflecting the hot summer sun. 

She actually has no light of her own, the moon.  And in this full moon, in the house of friends and groups, reflecting back the light of those that illuminate you is appropriate.

Emotionally, this is also a good time to find a new approach.  To rethink relationships.  To redefine a sense of self.

"Two halves don't make a whole," Kahlil Gibran said, "But two wholes make two and a half."

You are the creator.

Happy Full Moon!

Saturday, August 6, 2011


Happy Lughnassadh! Lughnassadh is a mixture of modern day pagan beliefs. Rooted simultaneously in the pastoral, Druidic shadow doorway of Imbolc (the sun at 15 degrees of Aquarius; Lughnassadh is 15 of Leo), and the agricultural, anglo-saxon early harvest of grain, it also has the reach of Lugh the Long Arm. 
Today the Gods will manifest like sunbeams if you leave offerings of grain for them.

Monday, August 1, 2011


Owl Shriek Moth

Owl Shriek Moth that lay fluttering
confused and helpless
in the bright, hot daytime
world of
White Castle parking lot.
In my path,
the same week
I'd found a dead sparrow
in front of my workplace door.

I convinced you to cling to the
bus schedule--
number 16
I ride to work everyday,
and the schedule had
the further benediction and blessing
of a blog bit scribbled there
in hasty inspiration
that morning,
whilst riding on said bus line.

Thank goodness you weren't squeamish
about dying,
or about living either,
and therefore had no shame
in being rescued- even temporarily-
by a big lumbering liquid and marrow filled
lug like me.

I wasn't certain, if I was a last
dying insult from a being of the kind that had
made your world acrid and sour?
Or if the slice of my phone's shutter
taking your photograph as you clung to the

was instead
the welcome of Oisin
to the halls of the Sidhe?
Were you, perhaps,
like me? Wandering from
one world to the next? Drifting
in and out of day and night—sometimes
lost, in ugliness of the White Castle
in sunlight on a summer day;
the smell of carrion and exhaust
weighting down the flight coating of your wings?

With full understanding that I had no
or halo to give you,
no material protection at all,
I blessed you with all the strength of
the Faerie Queen's oath
on Midsummer Night.

Then I left you.
To stand there any longer and watch you
flailing, would have been an insult,
and perhaps weakened
my own blessing
with doubt.

I wish I knew
what Oisin would have to tell me,
if he could speak to me
more clearly
than in the tongue of
dead clan-birds on my doorstep
and wounded Owl Shriek Moths
in my path.

I wonder
what he would have to say
about how bright the daylight
after so many years
among the twilight?
And what does he think
about the moths covering their
wings in
the dust of his bones?

I must listen more closely
to the night.

Monday, July 18, 2011


I am doing this meditation over on facebook, and thought I might post here.  (Although, honestly, I think more people check my facebook page than this blog.)

June 21, 2011
Happy Summer Solstice! Today is also the first day of the 40 Day Meditation to help facilitate the shift in human consciousness. This shift won't occur to everyone at once. In fact it will probably really alarm those that are deeply rooted in ego, culture, race, religion, etc, etc. Not much to be done about those further behind, the Age of Avatars is here. Listen carefully today.
Day 2 of the 40 day Meditation to facilitate the shift to higher consciousness: What are you creating in your reality? Love, abundance, gratitude, health? Whatever you want more of, put your mind on that.
Day 3 of the Meditation to manifest the new consciousness: Save the honeybees!!!! I am thinking to day about how healthy nature is, and how She always supports us, and there IS enough for everyone, and we ARE smart enough to create a sustainable life on this planet!!!
Day 4 of the 40 Day Meditation to Manifest a new global consciousness: YOU are the creator of your reality. Even the things you don't want are invited into your life via your thoughts, beliefs and expectations. If there are negatives where there should be positives, maybe today will provide the energy to re-route the circuits in your brain.
25 June: Day 5 of 40 Day Meditation to raise consciousness. For many people the shift means change, and often people are afraid of change. Today, consider that there is a part of yo-the larger part, the "Higher" part- that will never die, in fact has never been born or lived; has not been hungry, sad, angry-- or happy, content, enlightened, etc. We are here in this life for the pain as much as the pleasure.
 ‎26 June Day 6 of the 40 Day Meditation to manifest a higher consciousness and 5-D Earth. Can you envision in your mind what you want? Can you see it happening clearly? While you are envisioning it do you have a good feeling? A feeling of well-being and contentment and excitement?
27 June Day 7 of the 40 Day Meditation to elevate consciousness: Can you imagine a world where there is no hunger? Can you imagine a world where everyone has medical care? Adequete shelter? If you can see it, it can exist.
28 June, Day 8 of the 40 Day Meditation to manifest a new global consciousness. In the future, the "average" human will be like Jesus or Buddha. Even within the next 100 years. This is the next stage of growth in human development.
29 June Day 9 of the 40 Day Meditation to raise consciousness. You create your reality through your awareness. Consider that at any given time on this planet--any second-- every single human emotion and 6 billion realities are present. Choose what you focus on. Choose what comes into your awareness. Or at least, choose to always be able to "re-set" to what you want.
30 June Day 10 of the 40 Day Meditation: 30 Days to manifest your own personal higher consciousness. What you want? What you gonna do? Does it make you feel good?
Tonight in the middle of the night a new moon and solar eclipse. Tonight, you could catch magick on your tongue the way children taste snowflakes, if you wanted. All of nature is love and prosperity spell right now. Breathe deep. Let your soul fill with what it needs to breathe.
1 July 11 Day 11 of the 40 Day Meditation to raise consciousness: In the video game version of this meditation, today you would pass by a chest and within would be a secret power pack of great strength against any enemy. You would obtain it by re-writing one bad event in your life so that you (the creator) had chosen it to occur.
2 July, Day 12 of the 40 Day Meditation to manifest a higher earth consciousness. YOU MUST BEGIN TO SEE MORE OF WHAT YOU WANT AND LESS OF WHAT YOU DON'T. If you want wealth and prosperity, begin with wealth and prosperity consciousness, and imagination, to see what you want. You will not get more of what you want pondering what you don't want.
3 July Day 13 of the 40 Day meditation to raise consciousness: Would you rather be RIGHT or would you rather be HAPPY? Much of your life hinges on the answer to that question. Give up the need to judge, to be "right" especially about the things you don't like in your life. Fulfillment will follow.
4 July Day 14 of the 40 Day Meditation. Nothing in this life is a permanent state. There is no such as "security", it is a fantasy. A belief that life will continue in a static or unchanging state. The only true security and safety is in understanding that your own awareness and beliefs create your world. Keeping yourself focused on the compass of your well-being, health, prosperity, and emotional growth.
5 July, Day 15 of the 40 Day Meditation: Raising awareness means raising your own awareness. Interacting with the world from a better place. Jesus and his disciples interacted with the same people, ate the same food, went out upon the same water, yet the disciples had a very different experience from Jesus. Are you relating to the world in a way that makes you feel good, and is you are attracting what you need?
6 July Day 16 of the 40 Day Meditation: In the book 2150 AD all people can telepath, astral project, and heal their bodies. 100 years is the new 29. But there are still people living on micro Island-diseased, fighting, poor, etc. Right now the Macro society and people with higher consciousness are on a kind of island. We are not here to change others, only ourselves. The new world begins in each individual person.
7 July Day 17 of the 40 Day Meditation: Your mind is like a garden plot. Any seed you plant will try to grow. Some thoughts are like weeds, they grow quickly and easily and need no attention. Others need a lot of care. What is growing in your garden?
8 July Day 18 of the 40 Day Meditation: Your awareness is the garden that grows the events of your life, and each thought is seed. The ground itself is made up of your beliefs and expectations. Many people want to believe in positive thought, but no matter how hard they try, their thoughts don't come to fruition. Today is a good day to test the soil. Do you really believe you create your life?
9th July, Day 19 of the 40 Day Meditation: Negative emotions clog up the "pipeline" of wisdom and higher guidance. It's not that healing and love and light aren't available, it's that they can't get through. Can love get through to your heart? Clear a path today.
10 July Day 20 of the 40 Day Meditation: YOUR AWARENESS IS LIKE YOUR MONEY! SPEND IT WISELY!!!!
11 July Day 21 of the 40 Day Meditation: The daydream you have today could change the world tomorrow. If you want change, stop observing and start imagining.
Day 22 of the 40 Day meditation: You can't choose for anyone else. You cannot control anyone else. You did not come to this life to change anyone else. It is not selfish to focus on yourself, it is the most powerful thing in the universe. If doing so makes you feel bad in any way, see if you are miscreating through a belief that there is not enough, or that you are not good enough. There is. You are.
July 13 Day 23 of the 40 Day meditation. Point your compass toward safety, prosperity, health, and happiness. do not stray from your course regardless of what obstacles you face. Get right back on track.
14 July Day 24 of the 40 Day Meditation to manifest a new 5D earth: The Universe is unlimited in bounty. If you can envision it in your mind, you can achieve it. What is your most cherished and desired vision of your authentic self? ....PS- Happy Full moon in Capricorn!
15 July Day 25 of the 40 Day Meditation: Everything is happening in the right way, at the right time, with the right people. It's all good.
Day 26 of the 40 day Meditation: "If you ain't got no haters, you ain't doin' shit." - Kat Williams
17 July Day 27 of the 40 Day Meditation to manifest a new 5-D Earth: No matter how irritable, cranky, or tired you are, no matter how put upon by others you feel, YOU are still the sole creator in your life experience. And all you can do is re-focus on what you like and what want... And yes, this day's meditation is almost entirely personal.
18 July Day 28 of the 40 Day Meditation: It does not benefit a thief to live in a world of thieves; or a murderer to live among murderers. The intolerant do not benefit from being among their kind. Believing that the world can be a good place, that humans can create a world free of hate, violence, and greed is not naive. It is intelligent. It just might be awhile before the majority of the planet understands this.
19 July Day 29 of the 40 Day Meditation: Don't be afraid to want something for fear you want get it. Desire has charms all her own and often opens previously closed doors. Allow yourself to want what you want, even if it is not currently manifesting. Allow desire to attract what you need, the way a blossom attracts a bee.
20 July Day 30 of the 40 Day Meditation: The blossom does not even concern herself with attracting a bee to pollinate her, because she knows that the Universe is perfect balanced, and she would have no need or desire that could not be filled. The blossom does not concern herself with the details, she instead enjoys her time in the sun.
21 July Day 31 of the 40 Day meditation to raise consciousness: If you really believe you won't be impatient or insecure. Even a starving person knows that you cannot tug the shoots of plant to make it grow faster. Some processes just have to go through their cycle. Patience is a true power.
22 July Day 32 of the 40 Day meditation: "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes." ~ William Gibson
Day 33 of the 40 Day Meditation to manifest a 5-D earth: "Rather than trying to get the world to all do the same thing, or to do things that you like, it is much better plan to put yourself in the position of accepting that everyone has the right to be, do, or have whatever they want; and that you...will attract unto you only that which is in harmony with you."
Day 34 of the 40 Day Meditation: Many forces in the Universe had to come together to create you: salts, stardust, animal, vegetable, mother, and father. You have been entrusted with the package of flesh and thought, heart and soul, that is you. You are part of the whole Macrocosmic Oneness of the Universe, but it is necessary that you be a complete and seperate microcosm within that Oneness.
25 July, Day 35 of the 40 Day Meditation: Can you envision a world, even for just a moment, where every person had enough to eat, a place to sleep, shelter from the elements, and basic healthcare? There is no shortage of these things in the world, it is just that the world is not balanced. Powerful creator that you are, giving even a moment of thought to this balance can create it.
Day 36 of the 40 Day Meditation: People that are living in the lower "earth" chakras live in fear because they do not understand how this life is created. That is why the heart chakra becomes vulnerable when shifting to the "heavenly" chakras. Today make sure to bathe yourself in the light of your own heart chakra. Love yourself like your newborn child, or most precious lover. Love the Universe by loving yourself.
Day 37 of the 40 Day Meditation to facilitate a new 5D Earth: If you find it completely impossible to even envision a world where everyone had adequate food, shelter, and healthcare, can you envision yourself having all of those things, and anything else you feel you need to survive comfortably, healthily, and happily? Can you believe it?
28 July Day 38 of the 40 Day meditation: A diversity of people and experiences is a sign of healthy attractor. Our job is to channel what we want and like, and seek more of it. If something undesirable occurs the best thing to do is release it as quickly as possible. Don't focus on it too much--your healthy attractor is just doing its' job to show you everything.
Day 39 of the 40 Day Meditation: A new kind of human is emerging in the world. The Macro human, capable of higher love, psychic powers--to the point of walking on water, healing the sick, raising the "dead". For the time being the new world must live and grow alongside the old, dying world. This may not always be comfortable. Choose carefully what you focus on. 
Are you here to bring about the new or tear down the old? The choice is fully yours, and may change from moment to moment.
New moon born tomorrow, labour tonight. (Metaphorically- and magickally speaking-- of course!)
30 July Day 40 of the 40 Day Meditation to raise consciousness and manifest a new 5D earth: YOU are the creator!!