I HAVE BEEN USING THE TERM TARGETED INDIVIDUALS ALL WRONG

As you may know, I became a radical political activist at 15. (I was already a somewhat infamous "bad girl/tragic girl" by then, especially to law enforcement.) For ten years (from roughly 1982-1992) I was with what is now called Revcom. I got arrested a lot, followed a lot, my phone was bugged (back then you could hear the clicks), etc.  For at least a decade after that I would be watched around May 1st, i.e., International Worker's Day (which had become Bealltain for me).

So,  I was a "targeted activist". I was almost always arrested first, separated, questioned, etc. (Especially in Los Angeles). And when I came back to St. Louis, I had a few encounters and I still have some issues. (Some from Ferguson, but some, ironically, from the time before "Red" Rachael, and the businessmen and cops I knew as a bad girl decades ago. Thankfully STL is a tiny place and I know enough people that when something comes up I hear about it. More on documentation in a minute.)

When I heard people saying "targeted individual" in political activist circles here, I thought they meant situations like mine. They don't.  Targeted individuals may or may not be political activists.   I have been misunderstanding this term since at least Ferguson! 

"Confirmation bias" is another term which I have heard a lot but didn't really understand until now.  Confirmation bias is actually something everyone does, but mostly subjectively.  I suffer at times from emotional polarization, but if I continue to believe something that is proved untrue, it gets marked "subjective reality" and I generally will keep that in mind. 

I believe A LOT of crazy things.  Aliens, Angels, Multiple Universes and Dimensions and Deities, the afterlife and spirits, etc., etc.  I do think there is something like HAARP, and whatever is causing the US Diplomats in Cuba to get sick, and even crazier than that, I believe that those things may not be human in origin! 

But, as I have said many, many times, if I can't prove it in shared human reality, if I can't demonstrate it to you, it's just a theory.  I am only psychic when I am right.  I am only a spiritual Medium if I can communicate with your  (each individual's) spirits. I believe the body can heal itself, but until my body can heal itself and create immunity from diseases that is proven in a laboratory, I will get the vaccines. 

And if I am talking to someone that does not believe in whatever it is- god, ghosts, aliens- I recognise that to them, I am basically crazy.  Also, I live in the empirical world.  If it is real, it will eventually be proven.  I've learned that I can just wait and be patient. (I learned this early on, as an activist, with Oliver North.  And over the years, many things that were considered crazy conspiracy theories have been proven. Recently, technology has proven that mind reading and telepathy can be reproduced with machines, and I am part of study at Yale on psychic phenomenon, and what differentiates psychics from the mentally ill.) 

And as far as being an activist that was targeted, there is enough of a trail of proof that if anyone was ever really interested, Sunshine requests could be filed, witnesses could be deposed, etc.  When it comes to anything having to do with the government, there is paperwork and there is payroll.  To watch someone around the clock requires man hours. Cameras and other recordings are worthless unless someone watches the film and listens to the calls and reads all the blogposts. (I actually feel sorry for anyone who has to watch me lol!!)

And if "they" are preventing you from getting a job or stopping you from seeing your family members, eventually someone is going to tell you if you seek out documentation.  

(I used to always ask why a place didn't hire me, if I'd been interviewed and in the running, because this is how I would find out if I was getting a bad reference.  If someone was angry with me or one of my neighbours started behaving strangely I would question them, ask what I had done. For example, at one place I had this crazy landlord and I had reported him a few times.  So he would tell new neighbours to watch out for me and etc. They learned about him fast enough, often without me, but the point here is that there is a way to get verifiable evidence. Don't be afraid to talk to people and be willing to hear what they have to say! Because sometimes the answer is actually unpleasant like "I really don't like how you always use the washer all day on Saturday" or "We didn't think your personality was a good fit for the office.")

And surveillance goes two ways.  If you think your house is getting broken into, set up cameras, or sensors. Or at the least, do the old "piece of hair in the door frame" trick.  Look for patterns.  Especially with local law enforcement you will see the same vehicles. Get to know your neighbourhood and your neighbours.  And, contrary to all the advice you hear about varying your routine (which is mostly aimed at reducing break-ins or assaults from criminals) stick to your routines for a while, and then change them, and see what follows you.

And serious things- like poisoning, altering medications, etc- these things can be traced and documented.  Poisons leave a residue. Medication can be checked by a pharmacist chosen at random.  ("This doesn't look my old medication, can you tell if it is correct?") And with meds, you can check the appearance on line these days.  It is very difficult to make fake meds.  (Except on television shows.)

Like a person who is psychic, you are only going to be believed when it is verifiable. So get the proof, and expect to have to show it over and over to each person you meet. And really understand that all of these people that are harassing you are human and have to eat and sleep, and they are getting paid to do this. (Or if it is a random stalker, they will be much easier to trace and document, and also have fewer resources.)

Also, most humans are not going to harass someone who is doing nothing for years and years.  After awhile, the LAPD stopped checking in on me around May 1st because it was obvious that I was going to be frolicking around the Maypole, not demonstrating and organizing for revolution. 

And if it is a big corporation, in order to keep up that level of harassment, there would have to be a very powerful committee, and those people will have secretaries, and family members, and shareholders that will question the budgets and financial reports.  These are people so they will get sick and go on vacation.  They can't do it alone, which means that there will be a lot of people involved.  And eventually at least some of those people will speak out.

A lot of targeted individuals are probably mentally ill.  Many of the stories I read sound exactly like psychotic episodes. But there are some people that are truly targeted.  What happened in Cuba should be taken seriously. But those that are truly being targeted will be able to find documentation. 

However, my main point was meant to clarify that I do NOT consider myself a "targeted individual" and if I have used that term incorrectly in conversation or communications with you, I apologize.  

THE TWO MAJOR FORCES POWERING THE INTERNET FOR ONLY $5

 19 years old (gumroad.com)

"Thanks for the video, you have managed to combine the two major forces powering the internet, cat videos and porn"

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 

So that is now my tagline pitch!!!!  Only $5 for the two major forces combined!!!!

I would also like to say, that I have only sold about 5 or 6 copies, one person paid VERY generously, and I have gotten a few gifts.  It's not really porn, and I am not rolling in dough from exploiting my young body.  (I hear this a lot from people "well you think you can just sell your tits on the internet" etc.

Um, no.

I do try, but I am actually not fond of being in front of the camera- would much rather be behind it, directing, or writing the script. When that video was made I hated my body, thought I was horribly fat because my stomach wasn't flat and I had a line of dimpled cellulite just below my ass.

And also, at the time, I was "Red Rachael" the communist.  I was desperate to reject and overcome my issues from being an abandoned child, desperate for male attention and love.  At puberty when I figured out I could have almost all the male attention I wanted if I just let them have sex I did.  (The men and boys that didn't take advantage of me are in the  minority.)  

By the time the communists showed up in fall of 1981 I'd had my fill of men that were users, abusive, narcissists.  I'd been raped a number of times, once by two men, and strangled twice (one was the two men).  And I hadn't had an orgasm myself once. I'd learned to moan and pretend early on, because oftentimes the man would orgasm then and the sex would finally be over.  (When I finally did have an orgasm I was on my own, reading an article in Cosmopolitan magazine on how to masturbate- also something I had never done before except as a show.)

So my feelings about my body, sex, men, etc, were all very confusing. And in 1992, when I had a suicidal nervous breakdown and went into therapy, I also discovered that I was not Andrea Dworkin, or someone like Linda Lovelace. (I call that period of my life- between 12 and 15 my "Iris Steensma" years because I can't find any other shorthand, but for the most part I was not a prostitute and rarely engaged in that sort of direct exchange- usually it was another kind of payment, not cash- because it always had to be about the largesse of the man and me wanting him- and really, in some ways that was better, because when men straight up paid for it they were usually paying to be abusive and dismissive.)

Until a few years ago, when quite frankly my body changed, including my hormones, I did enjoy all things prurient and especially that women should choose, men should compensate women for sex in some way, or society should. Because even without kids we have the periods, the constant threat of rape and impregnation, etc. 

And also, it is the only thing of value that society has consistently wanted from me.  Men want sex, or to talk about sex, or look at sex, etc, and even women want to photograph or otherwise the female figure, and everyone wants to find a way to make money from it.  And there is a fatigue too, that comes with anything of value a person possesses- like a doctor constantly being asked about people's symptoms wherever they go, or a film director having every waiter pitch them a script, etc.

My disagreements with prostitution, strip clubs, porn, etc, all stem from the fact that they exploit rather than empower women.  In my 20s when I was really trying to write about my early sexual experiences I could not get anything published because "underage sex" was illegal. So go to any bookstore and buy Iceberg Slim's autobiography, or watch Taxi Driver, but if Iris Steensma or the Rachel in Slim's stable had tried to write a book or make a movie it would have been rejected.

And the other thing that I would run into, is people that would insist that there was something wrong with me, that I had suffered myself and still thought sex work was wrong! Many of these people weren't religious.  I get that most women want to find one guy and settle down and have kids, but I also know that given the opportunity there is a great chunk of men out there that are not going to do that, and it unrealistic to expect it. 

(I used to think to myself that I had to have sex with all of these men because their wives and girlfriends didn't. At 13 I really thought I was responsible for blue balls and that I was a tease- and I probably was- I wanted men to look at me so I dressed sexy and flirted.  I just didn't want or like the sex, I just put up with it. But I thought I obligated to provide it because I had made the men excited and their wives wouldn't have sex with them.)

Anyhow, so when this video was made, I didn't see the amazing young body I see now, and I wish I had appreciated myself more.  Many of the photos that I have were taken by boyfriends with a lot of protesting that I was "too fat" and "too gross". 

And later, when I did try to do these on my own, I just cannot seem to market myself of play the game right.  The whole acquisition of money is so exhausting to me.  "Selling myself." I am way too honest to do that.  And too weird.

And also now I don't feel it as much.  I want companionship and help with the storm windows and someone who isn't going to flinch at my 56 year old (in 5 days) body.  Part of my problem now is that I listened to a lot of very detailed complaints from all those men about how disgusting older women's bodies were. And also I flinch at myself these days. So taking selfies and doing topless Skype chats is probably over. (And with very few exceptions I don't look at dick pics for free.  Or for cheap. And not that I get many, but just FYI. )

But to be clear, I don't think badly of anyone who buys this video.  I'm 19 in it, not 13.  I am selling it because I need money and my thanks and appreciation for every purchase are very sincere and  heartfelt.  I also understand that there is a limited market.  I'm also selling my stories, my office and other skills, and this HP Stream Laptop (good for gamers-and barely used $100).

Also, any gifts are welcomed as well.  Or any book advances from publishers that want me to write my life story! 

Thanks for listening!

UPCOMING MERCURY RETROGRADE AND DISRUPTIONS

Mercury goes retrograde on the 14th.  I keep forgetting to post that reminder.

Even without that happening, the next few weeks feel like they could spiral out of control very quickly.  Stay stocked up if you can, on everything you need, and full tank of gas, etc.  If, like me, you have people that you call and check on everyday, don't miss or skip days right now, because so many variables- weather issues, grid disruptions, covid related illness shutdowns, etc.

Do your best this week to take care of all your business.  And remember Mercury retrograde is good for editing and revising, for getting in touch with long lost friends, and to seek lost or stolen items and get them returned.  And a good time to practice your patience skills.  (I know, haha, do as I say not as I do, etc.)

Image is of Iris and the infant Hermes: https://www.theoi.com/Gallery/P21.4.html