MARI LWYD IS NOT PRE-CHRISTIAN OR ANCIENT

 Mari Lwyd is not pre-Christian or ancient.

My personal take is that as the industrial age began and the old feudal custom of feting employees with a party and liquor died out, someone (a clever, thirsty poet, obviously) resurrected an Old Gray Mare and a contest that used the language of the working class of Wales (the landowners and bosses would not be as fluent) to get that beer.

https://museum.wales/articles/1187/Christmas-Traditions-The-Mari-Lwyd/

"With the earliest account of the Mari dating from 1798, the boom years, as regards to the amount of horse's heads in existence, were between 1850 and 1920."

Image from Wikipedia 

THE UGLY MIRROR

I've had a number of spirits that remained after Samhain.  (They stay through Yule... sometimes Epiphany, but that may be by special arrangement, not sure on that.)

I've been having some really healing conversations, which means that I have to look in what I call "the ugly mirror".  A lot of people that don't have psychic abilities think that it would be "cool" to read minds, or see yourself as others see you, and I can assure you that for the most part it is not. 

And for me, the kind of person I am (that alone would be enough), plus all of my damage, my strange childhood, and, as I am realizing more and more, probably some sort of autism.  Sometimes I cannot figure out what I said or did wrong.  I don't understand normal social cues, and almost never understand social hierarchies. 

And I often speak carelessly, without thought for other's feelings- even when I understand those feelings.  And a lot of times I don't.  Usually someone has to hurt me in the same way I hurt someone else for me to finally understand.  

On October 14th of this year, a few weeks before Samhain, I had a spirit show up that was a man, that I knew from my past, that I had not seen in many years. Usually spirits show up after about a year, but not always. So I wasn't sure if it was someone that had died just that week, or a year ago October, or as many as 8 years ago.  And as the Samhain early arrivals came in, it got more difficult to distinguish individual voices.  (That scene in the movie Ghost with the dead surrounding Whoopi Goldberg is not wrong.  It's just normally spirits do not talk to each other. Usually they cannot see or hear each other at all, with some exceptions, including Samhain parties like mine.)

Well, last night I think I figured out who it was.  Someone I knew when I was 16.  And that haven't seen in decades.  Something happened between us that I should have kept to myself, and I did not.  And being young, and being me, I thought the event itself is what drove us apart.  

And my careless words, that he paid a price for (and yes, when the dead deliver a message it often comes with the full experience of their feeling), were spoken 40 years and three or four days ago.  I'd found myself thinking about the event and him recently, but not made the connection until my mind was suitably blank for receiving such a big (and kind of devastating) conversation. 

I apologized, of course, but I feel horrible.  And probably will for awhile.  I really didn't know any better.  I was just a child, and a mess.  I am still a mess. A grown mess now lol. 

Part of what is so hard about this - of all encounters like this- is seeing myself through someone else's eyes.  And seeing the horrid parts, the ugly mirror, isn't always what is so difficult.  

It's how the person saw me BEFORE I was behaved horribly.  And, not just that the person saw me as wonderful and really cared for me, but also that people see this one side of me- the bright light, the life of the party, the big smile.  

If I were only that, what an easy life I'd have.  I don't know why I am so crazy and complicated, weird and alarming, ruthless and cruel.  But I am.  

When I have these encounters, I am grateful.  But I also really understand why most people wait until they are dead to have these exchanges.  It is much easier to reconcile when one is on the other side and doesn't have to get up in the morning and deal with mundane things.  When how you feel about yourself isn't going to affect your day to day earthly life and survival.  When you are outside of time and can spend what would translate to months or years in emotional processing without feeling the weight of it in each linear moment. 

I often stand in front of the real mirror, doing my Louise Hay "I love and approve of myself unconditionally."  A mantra and a practice that has made my life so much better.  Without the last 16 years of Louise Hay's teachings in my life, I doubt if I would have been able to handle this reconciliation at all.  There is no way for me to view this and see myself in a good light. 

Now, as soon as I am able to process his feelings about all of this, and fully accept my responsibility in the consequences he faced for my actions, I will have to stand in front of the Ugly Mirror and do the forgiveness mantra.  Forgiving one's self is as important as forgiving another. 

And it is often more difficult. But I must try.  The theme of this year's Samhain- and this whole magickal year, until next Samhain- is forgiveness.  I'd been thinking of all the wrongs done to me, and being the Forgiver.  Hmph.  Like when you do a prosperity spell, one of the first things that will happen is that any loan or debt you have will come due.  

xxoo 

STILL BANNED ON FACEBOOK

It's funny, but I mostly miss sharing stuff.  Not the reactions, the sharing.  I love it when there is a comment or something, but that is not why I am there.  I read a lot of these articles about how dangerous social media is, or how fake, etc.  To me it's that most people do not fully grasp that most of the relationships on social media only exist in that venue.  Like work friendships.  Once you change jobs almost all of those relationships will go away. 

But the other thing about social media is, the relationship is always one of performer and audience.  My "shares" are the performance, the likes and comments are the audience.  My page is really a "show" that my "audience" likes.  

I love my facebook friends, but one of the reasons I love all 500 people- an amount far exceeding what I am able to maintain in any other relationship venue- is that I am not obligated to be there. And vice versa. (If someone really needs to reach me they will text or call or email me.  Messenger is far too invasive and battery draining to put on my cheap phone.  I don't even use the facebook app on my phone.)

And like Google and all of these other platforms that sell advertising, everything I share is being analyzed and processed for advertising meta-data.  The more memes I share about wealth inequality, the more advertisers and executives have to pay attention to it.  (Or, more accurately, ignore it.) 

And you don't have to have a lot of followers to have impact.  Quite the opposite.  Big influencers are appealing to the masses and generating a lot of advertising revenue.  But if you are what I call an "originator" you may not have a big following, but you are the origin of trends and stories. 

(These are the accounts the alphabet agencies routinely ask social media companies like facebook to stop promoting.  Facebook recently made a lot of changes to their feed and pages so that only people that generated income were promoted.  And while complaining about Biden and Trump is still fine, if you are a progressive or radical, you probably have seen a significant drop in responses to your pages, and an increase in jail time for small infractions.  I've noticed this particularly among my fb friends and pages that support Palestine and denounce Israel.  Even though all of these pages are also strongly anti-semitic, and many are Jewish people themselves.)  

I am going to move to Mastodon and Redditt. But I am also thinking that instead of *more* social media, I might just go back to blogging like this. I have about 20 people on fb that I interact with regularly, and about 200 regular lurkers that rarely like or comment, but share my stuff or talk to me about it in person. I can manage that just as well from here. 

Here are somethings I really wanted to share today:

I'd really like to see some ejaculation bans introduced into state legislatures this session:
https://www.msn.com/en-us/entertainment/news/letters-to-the-editor-what-ejaculate-responsibly-should-look-like-for-men-post-roe/ar-AA14s94C?ocid=winp1taskbar&cvid=6816ba365d6c4da39c22c97c122a3256

This made me tear up. So thankful they did this:
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2022/11/21/colorado-springs-nightclub-shooting-police-identify-victims-pronouns/10753214002/

LAST YEAR'S ECLIPSE MEMORY (THAT I CANNOT RE SHARE ON FACEBOOK BECAUSE OF GEORGIA O'KEEFFE'S NIPPLES)

This came up in my facebook memories.  I can't re-share it.  

This was was the second blood moon eclipse I had seen, and if you ever get the chance to see one, it is worth it getting up in the middle of the night.  (The one 11 days ago, on the 8th, it was overcast when I got up at 5 AM to see the apex.)

***

  Shared with Your friends

Well the eclipse was beautiful and here is my crappy photo that does not capture it at all. It was almost exactly 3:03, the apex of the eclipse.

 

It looks black and white but the crescent part was a beautiful gold light, and the eclipsed part was sort of a dark rose gold (more orangey than the blood moon) and beautiful and otherworldly.

 

Also, it changed the whole palette of the night sky- including the nearby stars- making their light steady looking, like planets, instead of twinkly.

STUFF I WOULD POST ON FACEBOOK IF I WEREN'T RESTRICTED...

 ... for re-posting a memory that facebook suggested I share.  (Of Georgia O'Keeffe's bare breasts in a photo Alfred Stieglitz had taken of her.) 

When I saw it in my feed I thought "well, I guess Georgia's boobies aren't sexy enough to be offensive."

Facebook is ridiculous.  I need to get on Redditt and Mastodon. 

Here is some stuff I wish I could post, just so I would have a record of it:

https://twitter.com/PDChina/status/1592891305721372673?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1592891305721372673%7Ctwgr%5Ebb9b430e74e2169c47827d80857ff8c5d9802db2%7Ctwcon%5Es1_c10&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fnews.yahoo.com%2Fa-flock-of-sheep-has-been-walking-in-a-circle-for-12-days-and-nobody-knows-why-weird-203957793.html

Also this, from March. 

https://youtu.be/Q2NeRxjYiTI

FACEBOOK AND THE FEAR OF NIPPLES

I am restricted from using any of my accounts for 6 days for re-posting a photo of Georgia O'Keefe that Steiglitz took of her.  Her breasts are bare.  You can't really see her nipples.  You couldn't really see Chesty Morgan's either- I got banned for those awhile back.  

Once they target you, everything you post becomes an issue.  And if you have a lot of lurking haters that can't wait for you to post something that gets reported, well...

Gonna switch over to Redditt.  The convos I want to have seem to be happening on Redditt. I just stay on fb because so many people I know are on there.  

FB has restricted me not just on that account, but on all my accounts. 

The real problem with Facebook is that they cannot figure out how to make the product pay to purchase itself.  And they are all greedy fucks that can never have enough money and profits. So like all capitalists they have to keep expanding. 

Social media, like utilities and internet, and big stores and services like Wal-Mart and Amazon, should belong to the people.  They should be public co-ops.  They shouldn't be a way for lazy men to make gobs of money and calling it "working". 

Anyhow. here is a link to a similar picture.  I can't find the one I posted.  I got it off another post on Facebook last year!!!! LOL

https://www.artsy.net/article/artsy-editorial-alfred-stieglitzs-sensual-photographs-georgia-okeeffe-reveal-vulnerability

Remember, kids, nothing is more powerful than the "female" body- the body of the person with ovaries and a vagina and a uterus.  If people with ovaries claimed their power we could rule the world.  And do it much better than the Sperm people. 

That's why they ban us, exploit us, strip naked, rape us, make us cover up, shame us, don't let us abort, force us to sterilize, and try to control everything about us. 

Here's my nipples back in 2005.  Just to assert the power of The Nipple. 

THE PLACE OF TRUTH

 When someone would die the Fochlacán (Bards) would say "Tá sé/sí in áit na fírinne anois."

"He/she is in the place of truth now."

I think a lot of the old fears about Samhain (SG: Samhuinn) were because the living fear the honesty of the dead. 

Every year there are difficult conversations and feelings to work through.  The ugly reflection in the mirror must be faced.  There must be a spiritual accounting that takes place, a balance of karma and forgiveness.  

I've been so preoccupied with the election, and some other issues in my life, that even though I put out food and cast a Circle and said the names for the last two nights, it is really only tonight that I have been able to fully focus. Tonight is the last night.  (Samhain is three "days" that begin at sunset, so until tomorrow, Thursday, at sunset.)

I apologize to my guests for putting out so many of the same foods- and most of it is snacks, healthy or otherwise- each night.  I only had non-alcoholic drink one night, other than water and coffee and tea.  

And, once again, I forgot a cigarette.  I have been thinking about smoking so much lately, craving it, that I think part of this was self-defense.  I know there is a butt out in my car, in the nether regions between the seats and the console.  But I don't know that I will go fetch it.  

I won't go fetch it because all the spirits are being so nice and I am exhausted.   Usually there are some complaints, said politely and all, but this year my grandmother has not said one word about the atrocious state of my house.  Or that while I spent this year preparing many lists and things, but when it came to this week, I can't find anything. I didn't even set up my Samhain altar properly. 

It kind of worries me a little, that everyone is being so kind. My grandmother pointed out that simply the act of pouring the drinks and preparing the snacks, no matter what they were, were a kind of ritual.  My ex-boyfriend and some of the other smokers told me it wasn't that big a deal, that the year goes by in the blink of an eye, and they didn't miss it. (Liars, lol.) 

It's funny, but this year I feel like many of them came on my account and not on theirs.  Part of that may be that  great bulk of them shifted in 2020 and 2021.  There is more than one level to the after-life. 

And so many, too many, folks that have died in the last ten years were well acquainted with my Samhain celebrations from reading my posts on facebook.  They know the protocol, and have no hesitation in asking for things.  In the last two years I have acquired a spirit that always wants acv and honey.  (My rule of thumb is, if you can only do one offering, that will be appropriate for almost everyone, throughout all of history, it is honey. So that is already out. Last year and the year before I mixed an ACV/honey shot, this year I just have the components out.) 

Someone also asked for vitamins this year and last. I think it is the same man- but cannot figure out who exactly.  One of two, that died with in 12 months of each other, from here and both musicians, though of a wildly different sort.  And there is someone here that loves figs and always asks for them. 

For my grandmother, Nonny, my best friend Sean, and my dearest friend and roommate, "Roomie", I try to make or get something they particularly like.  This year the best I could manage was my grandmother's spinach casserole, which is just coming out of the oven as I write this. 

Part of Samhain isn't just a verbal conversation with the deceased, it is that activities or things that remind you of the person that become infused with that person's energy in a visceral way.  And if it is your blood relatives, like my grandmother, I become very aware of everything I inherited from her.  I don't just mean looks or traits, I mean the way I scrape every bit of spinach and sour cream out of the mixing bowl- how in everything I make I try to waste nothing.    

I am always grateful for a visit from my Teacher who was a great Mage.  He tells me that the Truth is fluid and changes as we change.  This year the Truth I needed was to hear that I am okay when I cannot do my best, and that there is time. Plenty of time, and to relax and enjoy the company of others, whether they are living or dead, and stop focusing on these other things.  (Which is ironic given that in years past he has urged me to follow ritual and protocol.)

He also reminded me that Samhain is the future for the living, the way death is our future.  We will move onto the next world, and from there to further beyond.  But we will always be able to return to this incarnation and those that we loved.  In the future we will be able to visit the past.  We will be able to come back this earthly life through the memories of others. 

It's quite a lot, isn't it? I'm overwhelmed, as I always am by Samhain's visitors and revelations. 

If you are wondering if I remember your loved ones, I do.  I try to remember every person I have known that has passed, and even though there are people I have fallen out with, rest assured your dearly departed will always find the warmth and light of candle flame and plate of (weird snack) food, and drink at my house.  

But maybe not a cigarette...Not this year, anyhow.

Well, I am going to watch some Buffy with my Buffy fans that are on the other side, and we are all going to have some spinach casserole.  

xxoo peeps 

My grandparents - they were the same age but this is all I have- my grandmother at 16 and grandfather probably 30 or so?

FRANCES FORD COPPOLA'S SAMHAIN

My grandmother and other ancestor spirits aren't here.  Tonight is not the first night of Samhain.  Plenty of spirits are here though. Also, many gather at the "gates" and or near the veil, or at the elevators, etc. (I was going to start making offerings tonight, anyhow, because I was going to do the full moon tonight, as the eclipse will need to be celebrated tomorrow night.)

My arguments about Samhain is not that people shouldn't celebrate when they feel is right.  If your spirits are there and it is the night you can do it, go for it. They will always appreciate offerings, memories, And you can always talk to the dead.

(They can hear you, but there are a lot of prohibitions about what they can say to you. A lot of people cannot or do not want to hear the dead or have the dead invade or take up too much space in this world. For many folks, the spirits of the dead are like zombies, consuming resources, if not brains, and creating emotions- like fear of death, sadness about death, regret.  Better to limit them to a few times a year- Samhain, birthday, death day, anniversaries.)

I never would have begun the path to find the origins of Samhain if I hadn't felt the spirits as a child.  Seen them shifting in the dark out in the street, when my grandmother propped open the storm door to go get more firewood on the porch. 

Felt that knowledge rise up from my 7 or 8 year old subconscious: "The real Halloween happens a week later."  But that also scared me a little as a child and a teenager.  And I had no one to talk to about all of these things. When I embraced the spiritual life and my abilities, and began pursuing the Craft and the various deities and entities outside of the Christian pantheon, I found that very very few people that celebrated Samhain could say what it was, how it had begun, or how they knew that Halloween was the proper date, etc. That includes modern day Druids and heavily pedigreed magickal folk. 

And it still bothers me that people will insist that "there are many ways of calculating Samhain" or tell me something they heard from other modern day pagans, or insist that a re-enactment of traditions from post-Christian Celtic countries was the origins.  

It's like Francis Ford Coppola calling his version of Dracula "Bram Stoker's Dracula."  I love that movie.  So much! Gary Oldman's Dracula made me swoon. I loved even Keanu's bad accent.  

But that was NOT Bram Stoker's Dracula.  That was Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula.  (Dracula pursued Lucy and Mina- and Renfield!- to mess with his tormentors.  To get back at Jonathon and Van Helsing.  While they were out hunting Dracula, the vampire was sneaking into their own bedchambers.  Dracula himself was a dead cold corpse.  He was scary and disgusting and evil.  That's Bram Stoker's Dracula.)

The studio used this title to distinguish the film from all the other Draculas.  To make it seem more authentic. 

That is how I feel about calling Halloween Samhain. Calling your Samhain ritual on Halloween a Samhain celebration, etc, that is fine, but insisting that it is Samhain is another thing altogether. 

Samhain is a genuine Mystery.  Maybe one of the few remaining.  And people know that.  They feel it.  That is why they keep invoking its name.  

THE STANDARD HALLOWEEN IS NOT SAMHAIN POST

 art by Margaryta Yermolayeva

Standard Halloween/Samhain disclaimer:  Today is not Samhain.  All Hallows belongs to the Catholic Church, an amalgamation of Dia de los Muertos, Samhain, and probably some other things (like Diwali). 

Samhain (sau-en or sow-en or sav-en) and Bealtainne (be-yall-tin-eh or bel-tin-ah or bel-taine) do lie between the solstices and equinoxes, but they actually have to do with the position of the Pleiades.  (One reason I do not think it is Bealtainne in the southern hemisphere, despite the season.  But there is no record of Druids in the southern hemisphere to guide us on that.  And I have not been able to celebrate either in the Southern Hemisphere and see for myself.)

And there is a reason for it, magickally.  The gateway lies with the Pleiades, not the sun.  These "holidays" also lasts for 3 nights, although there are mentions of longer celebrations, but you really have to dig, and most just go with the Coligny calendar.

If you are only going to do one night, look for the sun at 15 degrees of Scorpio (Taurus for Bealtainne), and remember the "day" begins and ends at sunset, not sunrise.  So look for 15 degrees of Scorpio, after sunset in GMT, to be exact.

Having said that, Halloween is still awesome, still magickal, the veil is still thin, and so many people set out food and offerings that of course the spirits can come with an invite. 

It's just that Samhain is many more things than Halloween.

Happy Halloween peeps!

SPIRIT WINDS OF SAMHAIN SEASON

 In STL we have had a drop in temperature and heavy winds.  Like most magickal folk I live in more than one reality, and I know that in the mortal, shared, empirical world, it is explainable by weather and climate.

But as a witch I recognize the large spirit host that has arrived for the Samhain Season.  I used to delight in this, but as I get older and the empirical reality of this earthly life holds more power over me- the aging of my physical body, the loss of loved ones- plus the fact that I really wish I was back in Cali for the winter, and I am not at all happy about having the heat on so soon, well, let's just say it is not as delightful anymore.

In 2014 an important teacher and friend of mine passed mid-month (he asks that I never say his name- I have a nickname for him that I use), and 5 years ago my best friend, a person I love so much and miss every single day, passed on the 27th.  A sad month indeed.

And what is so disturbing this year is the presence of a "newbie".  Someone who died within the last year or two, or longer, but is just getting their "afterlife" feet under them.

(My teacher friend, whose death I blocked out, as I did Sean's, showed up around a year after his death and scared the shite out of me until he nudged me on to the computer to his page... similar thing happened with Sean.  My power to block out unhappy things I don't want to face are legendary, but thanks to social media and the internet generally, I can't block them out for as long.)

But this year I keep thinking there is a third anniversary, and I cannot figure out who it is.  Someone whose death I was not alerted to? It feels like someone close because I initially thought it was Gentleman John.

(A well-known local here, a good Catholic who went to Heaven and has no truck with Samhain and such, and who died in February, but so sure was I that it was he, I marked him on the calendar as having passed on October 14th. Now that the spirit is not so present- too many others have joined, having come in on the winds- I was looking at my calendar just now and thought "what? he didn't die in October, nor on the 14th!")

This is all par for course being a Medium and a psychic, but it is still confusing and worrisome.  And the Mystic Winds didn't just bring the visitors, the early Samhain arrivals, the winds brought some big change that is looming. 

I hope it is blue tsunami.  About the only thing the Dems have is pro-choice and Roe, and even though they are in some ways worse than the GOP, we need a big voter turnout.  What is happening in Missouri and across the country is nothing short evil.  It is the oppression of women and nothing else.  It is not about "babies" and it is not about God.  But so many progressives and liberals refuse to vote at all, much less for Dems.

And, in case you are wondering, no, there is not a spell for Democracy.  If there is, it won't work and will probably have a strong karmic kickback on the caster.

Also, Samhain is not Halloween.  It lasts for three nights, but was often feted for longer in olden days. It has to do with the position of the Pleiades but can be approximated to the sun at 15 degrees of Scorpio and if you do just one night I'd do November 8th this year.  Or if you want to do it on bonfire night in the UK, November 5th, that is probably good too.  Personally I think we should do it for ten days, starting with All Hallows. 

(Sorry I don't have the artist credit for this.  And reverse google search does not find one either.)

MOONSHADOWS AND MYSTIC WINDS

About the title, and the song Moonshadows, I still love Cat Stevens' music.  He was a different person then.  I still listen to his old music, but there is a twinge/cringe now.  Apropos, I guess, to the song's meaning. I know he is really seen as offensive to many people, but his is some of the first music I ever heard.  (Cat Stevens, Buffy Ste. Marie, Joan Baez, Mahalia Jackson, and Handel's Messiah.)

So my last post, like so many of my posts, I realize later are me just saying the same thing.  The communications between a person (magickal or otherwise) and the moon are revelatory, epiphanies, and always seem otherworldly. But maybe the Moon is always saying the same thing?  She has a pretty good view of us.  And as an immortal intelligence, whether you consider her a goddess or not, what might seem repetitious to me is not even a noticeable measurement of time. 

Of course, I only pick the part that is on my wavelength spiritually.  Other people will receive other visions or reveries. 

https://www.instagram.com/fonklor/

But I do think that all of Nature mourns for how humans are gobbling up their habitat.  The Soylent Green future of steaming piles of garbage and no animals looms. (There I go again.)

The Mystic Winds feel cold this year. It will be an interesting Samhain, I think, and a lot of visitors that stay through to Spring.  I feel like it might be a hard winter for many, in terms of honesty. 

We had a Global Pandemic.  (A lot of people refused to acknowledge it, true, but it occurred nonetheless, and it affected everyone in some way.) Now we need to have a Global Healing. Humans have morphic fields just like animals.  Even if we can't change everything right away, changing how we think matters.  

We are enjoying beautiful weather.  That is a such a blessing in St. Louis.  I think we are looking at a lot of color, too.  It started this week and if it progresses it will be fantastic.  Last year we didn't get any of that bright orangey russet on the oaks.  The oaks didn't get much color at all.  (As a witch I usually worry that is because the old Druid/Dryad spirits aren't visiting.  But there are many realities, and in the empirical one it had something to do with the weather conditions.)

There have been some planetary shifts going on, and more to come.  My feeling right is now is, pare down and prepare for a possibly lean survival.  I think a lot of times, the preparation for something claims the energy of the thing itself, and banishes it from happening.  (Sometimes.  And maybe if done with that intention. Either way, at least you are prepared.)

I also feel like I need to make more time to listen.  Like another of Cat Stevens' songs "I listen to the wind of my soul..." See what blows away; see what I don't really need anymore.

xxoo peeps 

https://www.etsy.com/market/gashadokuro

THAT BEAUTIFUL LADY LOVES YOU

The moon has no light of her own.  She collided with the earth ages ago, and all of her volcanos have cooled.  She is a reflection of the sun.  Something beautiful for anyone to see.  That is, anyone who looks up on a dark night.  

For nature lovers and pagans and sky gazers she is a constant miracle, a regularly scheduled and anticipated blessing. 

Below is a thought that I posted on social media after gazing at Selene tonight- worldly, not esoteric, but vital to our species continuing to witness the beauty of life from this planet.

Gaze at the Lady, if you haven't already.  She is gorgeous tonight.

***

Executives, billionaires, and such act like being in control of a lot of money means they are good with money.   Like they have some superior skill. 

Acquiring something is not the same as being good with something.  (I have, for example, acquired a great deal of men in my life, and treated many of the horribly and failed to retain any lol.)

If they did something to acquire that money- actually had something to offer- that's great.  But usually it was a good idea, shared by a lot of other people, and they just happened to have the luck or the money/muscle/guns. 

It's obvious that the majority of people are willing to live with some wealth inequality.  Most people don't need so much.

But if we are going to have such differences, where some people live so easily and well, and others barely get by, it is going to need to become more equal.  The imbalance cannot be this great. Not with 8 billion people and this level of technology.

Even if we take all emotional, spiritual, ethical- everything non-tangible and non-material out of the equation- this current wealth inequality is too wasteful. 

Centi-Billionaires joyriding in space and people starving to death, or not being able to afford insulin?

If you are good with money, you don't hoard it.  The evolution of our species right now is our own personal growth. Hoarding money and living well might be nice but it is not evolution, and in the modern world an "average" lifestyle consumes too much.

In France the famous 12 star restaurants and fine cuisine are not because of the chefs. No.  It is because the average labouring man- the stonemason, butcher, bus driver- can make capons with cinnamon, chocolate souffle, cassoulet, confit au canard.

That is why Paris is the cuisenary (not a real word) capitol (I mean Paris as a building filled with chefs) of the world.

We are not rich because of our billionaires.  In fact we are impoverished by them.  If they want to keep their wealth, they will have to share more of the feast, so to speak, with all of us. 

Or we have to demand our fair share.  (This is actually the only realistic possibility.) And I feel climate change is really forcing the issue.  As a species we cannot allow individual profit with no regulation to rule production and consumption.  We don't have the resources anymore. 

And these old "solutions"- like have a war and destroy some people and capital?  That does not work in modern times.  We are too dependent on each other.  The supply chain issues and labour shortages from Covid haven't even begun.  Drop war on all this wealth inequality and it is a disaster for everyone.

Developed nations consume more resources in a year than we consumed during the entire span of World War 2. The US spent 345 billion over the course of the war. That's about 5 trillion today. In comparison the US spent 5 trillion in 2022. Factor in differences in population and resources and you see how quickly we are draining the earth of our habitat.

People that control the money aren't good with it.  They are just good at making themselves rich and hoarding it.  UBI, Medicare for all, wages, unions, wealth caps, regulated rents based on wages, and let's bring back the 94 percent top tax bracket from WW2.  Pay more for goods so that workers are paid more.  Let these greedy sociopaths hoard, but don't let them hoard so much.  Demand more for the people on the bottom. 

This world is teetering precariously.  We really must move to the next level.

Art: https://www.instagram.com/animalenas/?hl=en

TELL ME YOU'RE A BAD LOVER, WITHOUT TELLING ME

No matter how tough or strong or weapons-ladened a cis het man may be, he probably cannot live without sex. (Not in a healthy or honest way.) Below is the facebook post I wrote when I shared this meme.  It's really a thesis outline. 

Seriously, we as a society need to talk about the dominance of cis het male sexuality as the fundamental power in this world.  It shapes everything.  Instead of worshipping singular lingams as the collective of a father god, one who can own and dominate and control and name after himself and hoard property to pass to the next version of himself, all of us who are not c/h/m need to encircle this, like parents will encircle a child having an epilepsy attack or something.  This is part of the bodies we live in- not just cis gendered males.

Even at a our simplest we are complex creatures and this is our primal reptile brain.  This thinking is the outgrowth of  the non-verbal biological body saying "I must be a good mate that is fertile and strong and propagates." 

And that is getting interpreted through the mammal brain and through the neo-cortex.  Those sexual impulses are the drivers of half our other impulses (fear of death). 

Really a society based on nongendered sibling relationships is our next step.  But I think we are going to need to go through a kind of sisterarchy first.  A brief rule based on the ovarian reptilian impulses will balance out the millennia of sperm rule.

Until then we are going to have this kind of violent dominance of male sexual satisfaction as sovereign.  In modern society this is predatory in a bad way.  Animal predators hunt for food to eat.  They don't overeat- only humans and domesticated animals do that. Animal predators do not hoard, they do not manipulate or torture. 

And then in our modern society we have consumption sold to us all day long by images that excite the cis het male brain.  And those of us not ces hit male also like it because we attain our own power or satisfaction by satisfying them.  (In the car ad, the beautiful woman is wanted by the het male, and the woman identifies with the woman as a powerful attractor of mates and fathers for her children.)  I don't think even 10% of the global population is simultaneously aware of that in themselves and society, and able to overcome it, or accept it, or deal with it in a way that is healthy for the person and for everyone else.

And we aren't going to be able to deal with it until we talk about how much most cis het men need sex, and need to feel like they are good lovers and desirable mates.

Here is another in the same vein.  In nature the successful male fights another male and wins or loses.  He either impregnates and female or he doesn't.  Animals don't commit suicide or kill a potential mate because she rejects them. (In species where this exists it is a specific adaptation.  Animals are sentient and they do make choices, but we see that in domesticated animals- animals that have been shaped by human interaction for ages.) 

This grown man's biggest two issues are sports teams and a movie.  This is the threat to his masculinity.

SCOTUS HAS DECLARED WAR ON PEOPLE WITH OVARIES

from my facebook page 

Governor Parson Signs Proclamation ending elective abortions in Missouri from KMOV

Parson probably stayed up all night wanking.  They have had this drafted for months.  These are people that have absolutely nothing going for them other then having a penis and white skin.

We should not be out in the streets, getting arrested and enriching the courts and lawyers, we should have a shutdown and a strike - a sit down strike in every neighborhood!  #ShutItDown #GeneralStrike for #reproductiverights

And it needs to also be a #Boycott of pretty much every thing you can live without.  Production and consumption need to stop.  Everything needs to stop until People with Ovaries are given our rights.

Conservatives are not afraid to be open about their politics at work.  Liberals and Progressives are going to have to be more vocal.

And that means we have to shut down our jobs, schools, etc.  No waiting until after work to protest and going to a big crowd downtown.  Protest by not going to work.  "I can't work without the legal right to bodily autonomy.  I hope you will support me and pay  me a partial salary or okay my unemployment." 

This needs to become personal.  I hope friendships and even marriages are breaking up over this.  This is enslavement.  This is a denial of rights.

The other side is very emboldened and angry right now. (Another reason a shut down is better. I think we are going to see more violent outbursts from the Jan 6th incel crowd.)  Open war on people with ovaries has been declared. 

Allies, please, please, please, keep an eye on the safety of women and people with ovaries right now.  It would be great if people with sperm would also strike and boycott.

I hope people are waking up to the fact that we allow these people to remain in power.

And until we right things, don't forget to use this against every GOP candidate that only got elected for his stance on this and guns. 

There is a big gift here for the war, not the battle, a gift for the long haul, if we need to go long.  (If we fight back forcefully enough we won't have to.  But we are dealing with extremely weak and dishonest people that are backed into a corner.)

With all these people who agree about #Medicareforall #Livingwages #Unions talk to them about that.  The GOP is running out of steam.  (I wish we had a progressive party.  We are really going to have to lean on the Dems and especially the Neo-liberal dominant clique.)

#roevwadeoverturned #roevwade #RoeVsWade

https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/lysistrata

I am a firm supporter of the #lysistrata strategy and that should include all sex workers, strippers, porn, web cam porn, etc.   Or use these as fundraising events for strikers. And be open about it.  Its unlikely that widespread lysistrata will be employed, but women should not be shy about withholding or using sex to overpower these fascist misogynists.  Bikini car wash fundraiser for strikers and to support voter registration drives and lobbying efforts, that sort of thing, all would be effective, legal, and ethical.

MAGICKAL SPACES ARE OFTEN QUITE ORDINARY

 You don’t have to travel far or go somewhere spectacular to find the sacred. Willmore Park fulfilled all requirements for a sacred space for my last night of Bealtaine. (Technically it was over at sunset but as with Halloween, I do at least a week, usually ending with Mother’s Day.

And Mother’s Day, at least in this country, is what replaced Bealtaine (like Halloween did Samhain). Children all the result of all that frolicking, and the womb is “l’origine du monde.”

Anyhow, new moon and this song, plus bats overhead and lots of water splashes as the chorus performed the choreography. 

This is the sound of Bealtaine: mating calls in the moonlight. 

"GOOD" FRIDAY ???

If you ever wonder why the Old Gods have fled, you need to look no further than the Holy Day of "Good" Friday.

"So the main solar Deity and creator God had a half-human Kid and they actually murdered Him, slowly and tortuously, after He performed a bunch of miracles, healed people, and preached love?"

"YUP, and in His temples they worship the murder weapon.  AND they managed to turn His murder into at 'get out of hell/jail free' card for every single person, no matter how evil and heinous."

"Wow. Humans can kiss My Divine ass."

"Even Zeus stopped going down there... Although, Greek women are genuinely thankful about that...."

TERF WARS

I have pulled this down because I want to re-write it and send it somewhere for publication.  If you need it or need information from it, please email me. Eventually I will repost it, or the published piece. 

I HAVE BEEN USING THE TERM TARGETED INDIVIDUALS ALL WRONG

As you may know, I became a radical political activist at 15. (I was already a somewhat infamous "bad girl/tragic girl" by then, especially to law enforcement.) For ten years (from roughly 1982-1992) I was with what is now called Revcom. I got arrested a lot, followed a lot, my phone was bugged (back then you could hear the clicks), etc.  For at least a decade after that I would be watched around May 1st, i.e., International Worker's Day (which had become Bealltain for me).

So,  I was a "targeted activist". I was almost always arrested first, separated, questioned, etc. (Especially in Los Angeles). And when I came back to St. Louis, I had a few encounters and I still have some issues. (Some from Ferguson, but some, ironically, from the time before "Red" Rachael, and the businessmen and cops I knew as a bad girl decades ago. Thankfully STL is a tiny place and I know enough people that when something comes up I hear about it. More on documentation in a minute.)

When I heard people saying "targeted individual" in political activist circles here, I thought they meant situations like mine. They don't.  Targeted individuals may or may not be political activists.   I have been misunderstanding this term since at least Ferguson! 

"Confirmation bias" is another term which I have heard a lot but didn't really understand until now.  Confirmation bias is actually something everyone does, but mostly subjectively.  I suffer at times from emotional polarization, but if I continue to believe something that is proved untrue, it gets marked "subjective reality" and I generally will keep that in mind. 

I believe A LOT of crazy things.  Aliens, Angels, Multiple Universes and Dimensions and Deities, the afterlife and spirits, etc., etc.  I do think there is something like HAARP, and whatever is causing the US Diplomats in Cuba to get sick, and even crazier than that, I believe that those things may not be human in origin! 

But, as I have said many, many times, if I can't prove it in shared human reality, if I can't demonstrate it to you, it's just a theory.  I am only psychic when I am right.  I am only a spiritual Medium if I can communicate with your  (each individual's) spirits. I believe the body can heal itself, but until my body can heal itself and create immunity from diseases that is proven in a laboratory, I will get the vaccines. 

And if I am talking to someone that does not believe in whatever it is- god, ghosts, aliens- I recognise that to them, I am basically crazy.  Also, I live in the empirical world.  If it is real, it will eventually be proven.  I've learned that I can just wait and be patient. (I learned this early on, as an activist, with Oliver North.  And over the years, many things that were considered crazy conspiracy theories have been proven. Recently, technology has proven that mind reading and telepathy can be reproduced with machines, and I am part of study at Yale on psychic phenomenon, and what differentiates psychics from the mentally ill.) 

And as far as being an activist that was targeted, there is enough of a trail of proof that if anyone was ever really interested, Sunshine requests could be filed, witnesses could be deposed, etc.  When it comes to anything having to do with the government, there is paperwork and there is payroll.  To watch someone around the clock requires man hours. Cameras and other recordings are worthless unless someone watches the film and listens to the calls and reads all the blogposts. (I actually feel sorry for anyone who has to watch me lol!!)

And if "they" are preventing you from getting a job or stopping you from seeing your family members, eventually someone is going to tell you if you seek out documentation.  

(I used to always ask why a place didn't hire me, if I'd been interviewed and in the running, because this is how I would find out if I was getting a bad reference.  If someone was angry with me or one of my neighbours started behaving strangely I would question them, ask what I had done. For example, at one place I had this crazy landlord and I had reported him a few times.  So he would tell new neighbours to watch out for me and etc. They learned about him fast enough, often without me, but the point here is that there is a way to get verifiable evidence. Don't be afraid to talk to people and be willing to hear what they have to say! Because sometimes the answer is actually unpleasant like "I really don't like how you always use the washer all day on Saturday" or "We didn't think your personality was a good fit for the office.")

And surveillance goes two ways.  If you think your house is getting broken into, set up cameras, or sensors. Or at the least, do the old "piece of hair in the door frame" trick.  Look for patterns.  Especially with local law enforcement you will see the same vehicles. Get to know your neighbourhood and your neighbours.  And, contrary to all the advice you hear about varying your routine (which is mostly aimed at reducing break-ins or assaults from criminals) stick to your routines for a while, and then change them, and see what follows you.

And serious things- like poisoning, altering medications, etc- these things can be traced and documented.  Poisons leave a residue. Medication can be checked by a pharmacist chosen at random.  ("This doesn't look my old medication, can you tell if it is correct?") And with meds, you can check the appearance on line these days.  It is very difficult to make fake meds.  (Except on television shows.)

Like a person who is psychic, you are only going to be believed when it is verifiable. So get the proof, and expect to have to show it over and over to each person you meet. And really understand that all of these people that are harassing you are human and have to eat and sleep, and they are getting paid to do this. (Or if it is a random stalker, they will be much easier to trace and document, and also have fewer resources.)

Also, most humans are not going to harass someone who is doing nothing for years and years.  After awhile, the LAPD stopped checking in on me around May 1st because it was obvious that I was going to be frolicking around the Maypole, not demonstrating and organizing for revolution. 

And if it is a big corporation, in order to keep up that level of harassment, there would have to be a very powerful committee, and those people will have secretaries, and family members, and shareholders that will question the budgets and financial reports.  These are people so they will get sick and go on vacation.  They can't do it alone, which means that there will be a lot of people involved.  And eventually at least some of those people will speak out.

A lot of targeted individuals are probably mentally ill.  Many of the stories I read sound exactly like psychotic episodes. But there are some people that are truly targeted.  What happened in Cuba should be taken seriously. But those that are truly being targeted will be able to find documentation. 

However, my main point was meant to clarify that I do NOT consider myself a "targeted individual" and if I have used that term incorrectly in conversation or communications with you, I apologize.  

THE TWO MAJOR FORCES POWERING THE INTERNET FOR ONLY $5

 19 years old (gumroad.com)

"Thanks for the video, you have managed to combine the two major forces powering the internet, cat videos and porn"

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 

So that is now my tagline pitch!!!!  Only $5 for the two major forces combined!!!!

I would also like to say, that I have only sold about 5 or 6 copies, one person paid VERY generously, and I have gotten a few gifts.  It's not really porn, and I am not rolling in dough from exploiting my young body.  (I hear this a lot from people "well you think you can just sell your tits on the internet" etc.

Um, no.

I do try, but I am actually not fond of being in front of the camera- would much rather be behind it, directing, or writing the script. When that video was made I hated my body, thought I was horribly fat because my stomach wasn't flat and I had a line of dimpled cellulite just below my ass.

And also, at the time, I was "Red Rachael" the communist.  I was desperate to reject and overcome my issues from being an abandoned child, desperate for male attention and love.  At puberty when I figured out I could have almost all the male attention I wanted if I just let them have sex I did.  (The men and boys that didn't take advantage of me are in the  minority.)  

By the time the communists showed up in fall of 1981 I'd had my fill of men that were users, abusive, narcissists.  I'd been raped a number of times, once by two men, and strangled twice (one was the two men).  And I hadn't had an orgasm myself once. I'd learned to moan and pretend early on, because oftentimes the man would orgasm then and the sex would finally be over.  (When I finally did have an orgasm I was on my own, reading an article in Cosmopolitan magazine on how to masturbate- also something I had never done before except as a show.)

So my feelings about my body, sex, men, etc, were all very confusing. And in 1992, when I had a suicidal nervous breakdown and went into therapy, I also discovered that I was not Andrea Dworkin, or someone like Linda Lovelace. (I call that period of my life- between 12 and 15 my "Iris Steensma" years because I can't find any other shorthand, but for the most part I was not a prostitute and rarely engaged in that sort of direct exchange- usually it was another kind of payment, not cash- because it always had to be about the largesse of the man and me wanting him- and really, in some ways that was better, because when men straight up paid for it they were usually paying to be abusive and dismissive.)

Until a few years ago, when quite frankly my body changed, including my hormones, I did enjoy all things prurient and especially that women should choose, men should compensate women for sex in some way, or society should. Because even without kids we have the periods, the constant threat of rape and impregnation, etc. 

And also, it is the only thing of value that society has consistently wanted from me.  Men want sex, or to talk about sex, or look at sex, etc, and even women want to photograph or otherwise the female figure, and everyone wants to find a way to make money from it.  And there is a fatigue too, that comes with anything of value a person possesses- like a doctor constantly being asked about people's symptoms wherever they go, or a film director having every waiter pitch them a script, etc.

My disagreements with prostitution, strip clubs, porn, etc, all stem from the fact that they exploit rather than empower women.  In my 20s when I was really trying to write about my early sexual experiences I could not get anything published because "underage sex" was illegal. So go to any bookstore and buy Iceberg Slim's autobiography, or watch Taxi Driver, but if Iris Steensma or the Rachel in Slim's stable had tried to write a book or make a movie it would have been rejected.

And the other thing that I would run into, is people that would insist that there was something wrong with me, that I had suffered myself and still thought sex work was wrong! Many of these people weren't religious.  I get that most women want to find one guy and settle down and have kids, but I also know that given the opportunity there is a great chunk of men out there that are not going to do that, and it unrealistic to expect it. 

(I used to think to myself that I had to have sex with all of these men because their wives and girlfriends didn't. At 13 I really thought I was responsible for blue balls and that I was a tease- and I probably was- I wanted men to look at me so I dressed sexy and flirted.  I just didn't want or like the sex, I just put up with it. But I thought I obligated to provide it because I had made the men excited and their wives wouldn't have sex with them.)

Anyhow, so when this video was made, I didn't see the amazing young body I see now, and I wish I had appreciated myself more.  Many of the photos that I have were taken by boyfriends with a lot of protesting that I was "too fat" and "too gross". 

And later, when I did try to do these on my own, I just cannot seem to market myself of play the game right.  The whole acquisition of money is so exhausting to me.  "Selling myself." I am way too honest to do that.  And too weird.

And also now I don't feel it as much.  I want companionship and help with the storm windows and someone who isn't going to flinch at my 56 year old (in 5 days) body.  Part of my problem now is that I listened to a lot of very detailed complaints from all those men about how disgusting older women's bodies were. And also I flinch at myself these days. So taking selfies and doing topless Skype chats is probably over. (And with very few exceptions I don't look at dick pics for free.  Or for cheap. And not that I get many, but just FYI. )

But to be clear, I don't think badly of anyone who buys this video.  I'm 19 in it, not 13.  I am selling it because I need money and my thanks and appreciation for every purchase are very sincere and  heartfelt.  I also understand that there is a limited market.  I'm also selling my stories, my office and other skills, and this HP Stream Laptop (good for gamers-and barely used $100).

Also, any gifts are welcomed as well.  Or any book advances from publishers that want me to write my life story! 

Thanks for listening!

UPCOMING MERCURY RETROGRADE AND DISRUPTIONS

Mercury goes retrograde on the 14th.  I keep forgetting to post that reminder.

Even without that happening, the next few weeks feel like they could spiral out of control very quickly.  Stay stocked up if you can, on everything you need, and full tank of gas, etc.  If, like me, you have people that you call and check on everyday, don't miss or skip days right now, because so many variables- weather issues, grid disruptions, covid related illness shutdowns, etc.

Do your best this week to take care of all your business.  And remember Mercury retrograde is good for editing and revising, for getting in touch with long lost friends, and to seek lost or stolen items and get them returned.  And a good time to practice your patience skills.  (I know, haha, do as I say not as I do, etc.)

Image is of Iris and the infant Hermes: https://www.theoi.com/Gallery/P21.4.html