Sunday, December 11, 2016


A facebook friend said "Reality has jumped the shark in 2016."  The Cubs winning is probably one of the biggest examples of that.

A Trump was probably inevitable.
"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron." H.L. Mencken

But the most surreal thing about 2016 for me has been watching a real life "Red Dawn" unfold. (As in a cyber invasion and crashing our economy and government, instead of actual red boots on US soil.) As someone that was called "Red" and "Commie" for ten years in the 80's and early 90's, to now be actually HOPING the fucking NSA is reading my blogs and going after the "Ruskies" the way the FBI used to follow us revolutionaries communists and anarchists around.

Because, seriously.  This Trump bullshit is no joke, and neither is the instability of our country and the rest of the planet.

I hope I am just crazy conspiracy theorist.  But I started this post after Thanksgiving, and since then about half of it has turned up in credible news sources, and the CIA is all over the Russian's hacking our election.

So please read this.  It's all straight, real world stuff.  Nothing supernatural or magickal or psychic or inter-dimensional.  Just plain muggle disaster.

Wake the fuck up USA.

Sunday, November 20, 2016


... the centre cannot hold...


I was relieved to hear that a "tsunami of phone calls" was recieved by Congress regarding Trump's conflicting business interests.

NOW is the time to protest.  My personal opinion is that now is NOT the time to be out "protesting as usual".  Direct action and challenging the police is one thing if it is something like DAPL and the Water Protectors.  But in the case of a Trump presidency, laser focus on immediate results is needed.  That means targeting the individuals and institutions with the power to intervene.

That means a continual tsunami of unrelenting demands from the public to government officials.  Whether you voted or not. ESPECIALLY if you didn't vote.

Now is the time to wear a safety pin, Or a "solidarity" hijab. Or volunteer to register people to vote in areas where voters were turned away due to strict voting requirements.

I also think a nationwide "Taco Trucks on Every Corner" fundraiser for "Faithless Elector" sanction fees, and/or Legal Aid for immigrants, and/or funds for travel to abortion providers for states like ours that have just been invaded by "right to work" Reds.  (Funny how the Republicans of today are the "Reds" and actually behave just like they said the Soviets and Mao-ist China did.)

Taco trucks on every corner, donating a portion of the proceeds to the above mentioned services.  Musical acts and other entertainment could be included.  Permits for street faires, etc.  Or conversely we could make it a weekly or monthly event for the duration of the nightmare, if the Trump presidency ascends the throne (insert game of thrones/ toilet reference here if you'd like).  Taco Trucks on Every Corner could serve as havens of tolerance and black market birth control during the Trump/Pence coup.

In addition to the safety pins, taco trucks on every corner, and non-stop phone calls to elected officials, agencies and advocates, the best hope we have is the "Faithless Elector."  And whether the Electoral College hears our cries or not, the Electoral College needs to go.  Trump is exactly the kind of president the College was meant to prevent.

The President should not be elected by states equally.  Governors and Congress cover that.  The President should reflect the actual voting population of the country.  I'd be saying that even if Trump had won the popular vote.  And I'd be calling for Faithless Electors even if Trump had won the popular vote.

Because that is just how much of a nightmare Trump is.  Even if Clinton and Kaine came to office there is a lot of damage that can't be undone.  And it's really the middle class that is going to suffer the most.  The working class could be decimated, which would eventually raise wages, but I have a theory about who Trump really serves- whether he does so consciously or not. Below is a cut and paste from a hastily scribbled social media post.

If you need to, subtract mu opinions on 9/11.  This theory still bears investigating.  I bet the evidence can be found in the markets, and in the movements of the wealthy in Saudi Arabia and other Arab oil countries, and in Russian and Chinese communications.

One final note- it doesn't matter to me and the average person if the wealthy elite congregate elsewhere if we keep this country together domestically.  We need to focus on what everyone needs and providing those basics in our communities.  If we give into civil war the economy will collapse, and if that happens while we are under trade embargoes or a natural disaster or some draining conflaguration or war with another country- well... as I said, read your history.

I say Trump is our assassination of the Archduke of Ferdinand.  But had Franzy not been assassinated I think something else would have sparked World War.  We might not be able to avoid what is coming, or a Trump ascendancy, but we can be prepared and be focused on what we need and want from this country and our government.

That is why it almost doesn't matter what you do or who you call- as long as you do SOMETHING. Something non-violent, and legal, and forward thinking.

Anyhow, below is my not so crazy theory:

 The more I muse on it, the more I think Trump was played by or works in tandem with a faction of global superpowers and elites that want to shift the base of wealth and power to Putin's Russia. The death of the Bush regime means that the Saudi led oil cartels are going to go shopping.

( Especially if we are going to sue them for something I am certain Senior, Cheney and Rummy were part of- I mean 9/11.)

Pence, the Koch's, and the Paul Ryans of Congress will unwittingly assist in destroying us domestically and keeping us on the brink of civil war until they don't need the US's economy to remain stable. Trump will break enough treaties and pacts, sour enough relations, that the instigators will be able to hide in the crowd while everyone calls in their loans and bills past due. It will make "good business sense" to move out of the US.  They will "protect the shareholders".  They will collect massive bonuses and fees,

 PS-- I do not believe in a unified "they" or that this was planned or executed as some big overall conspiracy. There are always many ,many factions, working to advance their own interests. Right now there is a lot of fighting and activity. Each faction is going to align with whatever helps them most, and Trump-Pence presidency helps alot of factions, and they are always blind to each other, or suffer from hubris. Plus, the power players here are so wealthy it won't hurt them at all if they have to abandoned the USA.

Read the history books. This is a techno Space Age update of what happened during World War One. And to some extent World War 2.

 (Oh, Trump is not HItler. Seriously. Hitler was lower class, strict aesthetic and zealot, true fascist wanting continual war and domination of the world.  Hitler had been to prison and been a soldier. Trump is soft rich boy, vain, egotisical and hedonistic. Yes, he is very useful to the real US fascists- Pence, DoD contractors, Koch Brothers, Alphabet Agency zealots- but he is no Hitler. If he is direct cahoots with the Russians I don't know if he will be able to hold up to inauguration. If he's not, I still don't see him being able to survive the demands of even a puppet presidency. He probably got a whiff of what was happening- Dubai probably- and since he is NOT really a wealthy global elite, bought himself a role in the game and some protection.)

THere is only one power that come stop them, and that is YOU. Your awareness, your knowlege, your action, or inaction (and I don't mean that in a bad way- I mean, as in, refusing to follow orders,etc). No matter where the money goes, we are the ones that actually create it and we allow them to control it. Plus we the people always have "them" -- the many factions of governments and wealth- surrounded


Tuesday, August 30, 2016


Sorry I am so seemingly AWOL.  I am fully present, fully active in shaping the New Age, fully engaged with the 2016 Shitstorm  SHIFTSTORM. I am just not blogging or writing much at the moment.  Too busy.  Too overwhelmed with navigation of my day to day life.

Things are changing, and they have to change, and there is a lot of resistance to change.  It's human nature.  But this year, even human nature will change.

Stay strong, laugh when you can, try to keep your cool if you can, when you can't try to make amends but then move on.  De-FRAG (get rid of Fear Resentment Anger and Guilt) as often as possible.

Keep your vision of a better future in your vision and don't let go no matter how turbulent things get.  Believe in yourself.  Believe in your ability to sift the gold from the rocks and iron pyrite (unless you need a rock or pyrite lol).

That's what I've been doing, and will continue to do.  Come Samhain the changes for a better future will start becoming evident.  So, unless you are addicted to the Old Age, The Piscean Age, and the New Age is your Armegeddon, Apocalypse, and Hell, you will make it, and things will start to ease up next Spring.

That's what is happening over here in Lady Rae Land.  I'm just keeping on, doing what I can, and not giving up on the Good.

Peace out, peeps

Tuesday, July 19, 2016


The tide is turning but first all the wreckage has to be washed ashore. For humans to change and make the shift to higher consciousness globally and collectively, the shitstorm of 2016 will continue. Remember that wreckage that is dragging everyone down and screwing things up is the remnants of decaying and decadent structures that kept us enslaved to our lower natures for a long time.  Those structures served a purpose, were in fact once the "New Age" themselves.  But now they are useless.

Even though there is so much going on, I have felt an odd reluctance to post or work on Supernatural Saint Louis, or the Political Activist's Guide to STL (on my other blogspot profile).  And even finding the time and energy.  The shitstorm means most resources are needed just to stay steady.

But the other part of it is that right now I feel like this is the time for me to step back and allow other forces to work things out. The energy "soup" is changing in St. Louis.  Something or someone is going after the corrupt core that keeps this city in poverty and despair.  The visible faces of the core are not necessarily those with the power.  But they know who has it.

The schisms we are seeing right now in the world- the Saudis going after the US now that the Bush regime is no longer in power, the UK split from the EU, the divides in the political parties in this country- this is all part of the crumbling tower.  The secret rooms of hidden skeletons are cracking wide open.

The whole world is made of factions.  "They" really don't exist as a unified front.  There are millions of "They's" and sometimes there are several factions working together and sometimes they are just individually furthering their own interests.  But every faction of power relies on secrecy and deceit.

And the shitstorm is all about honesty and revelation, whether by agreement or force.

I feel this happening all around the world, and in St. Louis.  But I have not wanted to prod or explore it too much.  Not in any magickal or psychic way.  I read the news posts.  But right now letting the factions duke it out amongst each other is best.  Give them a big circle.

Right now seems to be a good time to listen, not talk.  Especially to nature.  To my own body.  To my dreams of a better future in the New Age.  There is a lot of supernatural stuff going on.  Especially in St. Louis.  But it is also overwhelming.  I can feel it all the time, and it wears on the psychic centres of the body- the endocrine system, sleeping and waking, etc.

I am not sure what is coming, but whatever happens, keep your balance and maintain faith in yourself.  Count your blessings.  And be ready to enjoy the hidden truths that are about to be revealed.  Be ready for emergence of honesty in human relations, worldwide and in St. Louis.  But it is probably gonna get nasty first. Be ready but stay out of the way.

Full moon Blessings!

Monday, June 13, 2016


I feel a lot of thoughts and empathic and telepathic "reaching out" right now.  Some panicked, some shocked, some just searching the network, looking to see if it has widened or narrowed.

I feel free to say whatever I want here on this blog, because I am not a public figure, very few people read this blog (20? regularly... not really sure lately, haven't been watching the stats), and those that do are here by choice.

As I am sure I have said before, there is great power, real power, personal power, in being "powerless" and "poor".  I think the most difficult thing for people, and especially New Age people in an Old Age world, is to become famous.  Especially psychics and empaths.  To not be aware of one's empathic or psychic abilities and to suddenly have thousands, hundreds of thousands, millions, thinking about you.  This is a good year to do the work, but avoid the cameras, unless you are super, super strong and focused.

These zealots and defenders of the Old Age either believe in Hell, or don't mind using it for their own purposes. They worship out of fear.  (Just FYI, if you are new here, I am not talking about Christians that truly love Jesus and what he taught, and do not embrace the idea that hell is judgement or condemnation from their Divinity.)

The world that is collapsing is filled with humans who cannot figure out how to be good people without the Almighty threatening to burn them alive FOR ETERNITY!  And since this Deity is the ONLY god, or the powerful of the Gods, they are really stuck!

They can't live in this world, they can't live with themselves, they know they won't be living with their God after the die, no matter how many "sinners" they kill.

I said in my last post that psychics, 5D and New Age folk might be surprised to find that they are completely out of touch with "muggle" madness.  The best predictors, even astrology, may not cut it right now.  As I mentioned, the more those clinging to the Old Age rebel against the New Age, the more we will find ourselves invisible.  ... Which isn't bad.  Better than finding one's self a target, which is why I believe we need to stay out of the limelight, even if one has chosen, as I have, to keep pushing at decrepit, corrupt Old Age structures, and heralding the New Age wherever anyone will listen.

Don't worry that you aren't on the "wavelength".  Don't let frustration or rage at the senselessness and idiocy of this crumbling, inept world and vengeful gods and greedy men drag you into the despair and nihilism. A big shift is coming, and when it does it will likely take us all by surprise.  It will likely be catastrophic, but I promise you, if you remain steadfast in your vision, once around the corner the New Age will be undeniably visible even to "muggle" eyes.

AFTER the Tower crumbles, comes the healing Star, the waters, the cleansing and renewal.  (Then the Moon illuminating the darkness, etc.)

You are here for a reason. You have powers and abilities that other people don't for a reason.  But it probably isn't to "save" anyone or everyone.  Saviours and Messiahs are part of the Old Age.  Aquarius is the age of the individual.  (And I am sure there plenty of astrological posts on many other blogs about Uranus and Aquarius and homosexuality, trans-gender, etc.)

And Saviours get crucified.  Martyrdom is useless in the New Age. It's more useless than violence or murder.  Save yourself, lend everyone else a helping hand.

If you are a witch, mage, or medium, there is a lot you can do to be helpful.  At this point, it doesn't include uncovering terror plots before they happen though, at least not generally.  Uncovering the roots of the Old Age networks of greed and corruption- the El, the Country Club boys, the Illuminati, the Lizard People, the They Live Aliens, the Bush regime- whatever you want to call them, they are likely out of your mortal reach.

But as a mage or medium, there are many things that the spirits are doing to uncover corruption, lies, warmongers.  It's Astral Fight Club right now.  (Except the Dead can and do talk about it.  And I don't think they are fighting each other in parking lots, either.  But I don't know that for sure.)

I hear a lot witches and New Age folk say that it is wrong to use "supernatural" powers to overthrow evil government or corporate entities. Or to change weather patterns.  Or even to save the honeybees or purify the waters.

I disagree.  I think that is also Old Age thinking.  Magick, psychic abilities, Mediumship, these are all going to become the new "natural senses". A witch in the USA does more magick and alters the environment simply by turning on the air conditioning in this ridiculous for-profit world then s/he would by summoning a spirit to uncover the truth about 9/11 or why the school districts in Saint Louis cannot stay solvent and accredited, or commanding through dominion an increase in honey bees, even if just in the local area.

In fact, at this point in the Shitstorm of 2016, we'd all do well to emulate Severus Snape during the Harry Potter's Quidditch Match. Without the concern that anyone will see what you are doing.  Because let's face it, the powers that be in this realm would just think you were nuts, and the Powers that Be on the astral plane have their hands full right now.

Although if you are always stumbling into them- and the very weak or the newbie, and the very powerful both will at times- you might want to just attune your thoughts with the energies in a general way.  Cover it in Pink Love Light, use a Green Owl, or if you have any spirit familiars ask them to pass the message on.

The apex, or next high crest in the madness seems to be around early July, but June 15th is on my radar, too.  September and November both seem heavy.  But there really isn't a set course at this point.  Everything is becoming very personal and subjective.  It's ironic that the harder a person clings to what was formerly the collective "shared reality" the more they lose their grip on the true reality- the subjective, personal reality.

Another protection, actually, magickal peeps.  As our collective spheres of influence narrow to just our own lives, in preparation for the next big shift, it also makes it very difficult to attract the Old Age Powers That Be, or have your magickal energy tracked back to you on the astral level.  We are creating our own worlds, all the time, anyhow.  But right now especially, your influence will affect your world.

Many New Age spells to assist the peaceful, safe collapse of Old Age structures will be like ghosts, even to the ghosts!  (Meaning those on the other side that have bound their spirits to greedy evil living men will not be able to see anything but their human proxy's own Karma, not necessarily where the "push" came from.)

Horrible things are likely to continue until enough people wake up to the fact that world is not going to proceed as it has for the last 2000 years.  No matter how much they want it to, no matter how many people they try to convert or kill or dominate.  It's like teenage girl trying to pretend she isn't getting her period, or a teenage boy trying to ignore the startling independent life his favourite appendage has taken on.  There is no turning back from this point.

Even if we try to stop the New Age from coming, maybe to give our loved ones or even ourselves a chance to catch up, it's too late.

I feel you, readers and seekers and kindred.  We mostly don't know each other in the flesh, in this dimension, but I know you are there.  And I know a lot of people feel as lost as I do.  This is what I got.  This is what is helping me.  Maybe it will help you.

This is time of great challenge.  As the Goddess of West  says "Chin Up, Tits Out."

Sunday, June 12, 2016


Love and Healing and Prayers and Tears for Orlando...

Even though I have been feeling and "seeing" 2016 for the last 8 years, there was a lot I wasn't ready for.  The surviving part, means dog paddling, and a lot of projects and dreams and desires get set aside.  Maybe it is that way right now for a lot of magickal peeps, or maybe, as usual, I overplan and then lag...

Third Eye hindsight is always 20/20.  The night of June 11th has been on my mind.  I see posts on social media from other 5D/New Age/ Magickal peeps saying the same thing.  But I didn't foresee Orlando.  But last night was explosive.  I imagine there were many, many small explosions.  There was one in my nieghbourhood- over 20 car windows shattered with BB gun pellets.

This country is in love with violence and guns.

This is the Old Age collapsing.  The Piscean Martyr, overstaying his welcome, stinking up the house like a fish after 3 days.  

There aren't enough New Age structures in place, and the "centre cannot hold".  This is the widening gyre.  What will survive is what always survives- life, creativity, love, nature.  But human existence cannot continue as it has for the last 2000 years.  

This the Age of Aquarius, the Age of Avatars and Electronic Fire.  There will be no ONE saviour, no ONE god, because we are all moving into a time where each human encompasses the Divine.  Aquarius is unpredictable, random, electric.  Incarnate souls that are trapped in the Piscean Age may have to die to be able to shift their consciousness to the Higher Dimensions of the New Age.

Within one hundred years we will all be more "psychic" than the most clairvoyant among us now.  But those of us that have those abilities now are becoming somewhat invisible.  As the collapse becomes more serious, more destructive and dangerous, we cannot always expect to predict things.  

The old stories of people's that vanished from sight- like the Irish Sidhe- and went to live in another land beyond the sunset, that could happen to us.  It is possible that the 5D world will have to break off from the 3D world in order to survive the violent end of the Piscean Age.  

You are safe where ever you go, as long as you de-FRAG (cleanse yourself of Fear Resentment Anger and Guilt) and keep Love in your heart and in your aura like a shield of protection.

But there are no guarantees this year either.  Keep counting your blessings, focusing on what you love and appreciate, and loving and appreciating yourself unconditionally.

This is a year to keep your power in your own life.  Among people you know and love.  The combination of collapsing Piscean Age structures, and the incoming Aquarian Age energies, is tricky to navigate without a solid New Age foundation.  (People in collective communities will likely have a good year.  In fact, any New Age structure could benefit from the random, chance, Uranian bolts out of the blue.)

Whatever you are doing, focus as much of your good intentions on it, and try not to get too distracted by what if's and if I'd only, etc.  Through Samhain, magickal folk especially need to be super conscious of intentions 24/7.

And this is a year to change habits and modes of living.  To put intention into health, safety, fitness, protection, diet, etc. This is a big personal struggle for me, but I am deeply motivated by seeing how clear my past visions of 2016 were, which means I need to heed the visions of the next 8 years, which require me being much healthier.

(It may be that if you are too "pure and healthy" you may need to develop a tolerance for junk food and pollution, because even though the majority in this country need to move towards cleaner diets and ways of living, we can't be sure the shitstorm isn't going to create a situation where we will all be eating "Soylent Green" or pollution will get very bad.)

Nurture the New Age in your heart and mind as much as you can.  Keep your spirits and your chin up, and honour the memories of those that you love by living the best life you can create.  Stay in the moment. Light your candles and say your prayers and cast your Circles and give Praises, Thanks, and Blessings to everything you appreciate.  Keep the world you want to live in safe and strong in your heart, even if the outer world seems doomed.

There is Protection and Power and Prosperity,
Above you and Below you
Behind you and Before you
To your Right and to your Left
From With In you and All Around You.

There is Love and Light and Peace,
Above you and Below you
Behind you and Before you
To your Right and to your Left
From With In you and All Around You.

May your path be filled with Blessings and Kindness and Understanding.

PS- I still plan to publish 2 more issues of Supernatural Saint Louis, and last issue covers Night of the Watchers, and what happened this year.  I got a lot of hits again, and I am sorry that the issue wasn't up.

Tuesday, May 3, 2016


So, first, tonight at sunset is the apex of Bealtaine.  Not tomorrow night.  I am sure I have said before that the sun at 15 degrees of Taurus is an approximation.  You can celebrate tomorrow night, or Thursday night, and even Friday will have a little of the energy and spirits. Many will wait around for Mother's Day.  (See this post:

But for all intents and purposes, tonight at sunset will be the best.  It was not just the spirits themselves waking me up in the middle of the night, but also the drop in temperature, which always comes before both Bealtaine and Samhain- the spirits come from a place that to us seems cold.

To the newer spirits it probably seems cold.  It's really neither hot nor cold.  It is outside of mortal experience.  But especially for the newly departed it is a dark, cold, lonely, place.  I don't get visits from the Carl Sagan's or the people that truly believed in some sort of afterlife- especially those that truly believed a religious system.

(The former- the true atheists and non-believers- just die.  Their consciousness evaporates and sinks back into the pool that is the entirety of the human spirit- all those that have lived, are living, and will live.  The latter- those with a strong belief system are immediately surrounded by those on the other side that share their beliefs.  In other words, they get the angels and the heaven, or hell, etc. Obviously those that get the heaven are less likely to leave, and those that end up in hell usually start trying to claw their way out.  So usually I meet the most tortured of the lot.)

Last night I got a good glimpse of a few of our famous recently deceased.  These could have been "iterations"- using the term as it was used in The River, a series on Netflix starring Stellan Skarsgard, meaning personal formations of memory of the dead to create new experiences with them, as opposed to actual spirit visitations.

I saw Prince, still on the elevator.  Like a lot of folks that die in their sleep or while unconscious, he woke up and everyone else was dead.  Michael Jackson was wandering around for weeks, even after his funeral-- thinking it was all dream.  When Prince gets off the elevator, all of his people on the otherside will be there to meet him.  And his God.  But right now, based on what I saw, he is still wandering.  (I suspect that once he is "crossed over" -- I put that in quotes because there are so many levels of crossing over that there is no definitive line, at least not from my viewpoint as one of the living-- he will be dressed like Judas in the title track number from Jesus Christ Superstar, all in white and with full-on angel wings.  He'll be flying around dropping magickal Prince glamour dust on dance parties and celebrations and anyone doing anything to make the planet a better, more musical and sexy place.)

It was Bowie's spirit-- or my own iteration of his spirit- that I followed as he wandered the titular corridors of the dead.  He seemed to be mostly watching over his wife and family-- especially late at night and before the morning twilight.  And especially when they are unable to sleep and reading something of his, or looking at things he left behind for them. He is still working on his projects, as many of the dead are likely to do.  (I imagine I will continue to be writing for years after I am dead.)

He was listening to a lot of Bolan, or it was playing on the soundsystem in the corridors, I am not sure. I've had the pre-Bealtaine earworm for weeks of "King of the Rumbling Spires", a song I consider a better anthem for the holiday than "Beltane Walk". **

I didn't discover Bolan- other than "Bang A Gong"- until the early 80's.  Bolan's spirit comes back faithfully to visit his fans every year on the date of his death, and he usually stays until the anniversary of his birthday.  But did he do that in the first few years after the accident?  I don't know.  I do hope eventually Bowie will come back to visit on a bigger scale.  He might be working on his costume and stage show for those appearances.  (Bolan is often riding a white swan, etc.)

Anyhow, I kept trying to catch up with Bowie, and technically it was dream, but I was pretty aware that I was zooming around on the astral plane and that I was asleep.  I finally found him looking at a memory-- and it may not have been his memory, it might have belonged to someone else, about his death.  Suddenly I was in the corridor of one of my way-back ancestors estates, a guardian spirit that lurks around all of us, although I am usually the only one that can see her.

She must have screwed things up for my family (I mean the bloodline that my current incarnation was born to), based on the wealthy position her family had as head stewards to some Lord or Laird or whatever.  I could still see Bowie wandering around the estate of the memory he was visiting, while my ancestor was ragging on me about my health.  (Yes, I promise to change my ways and quit all my nasty habits, etc.) Then I was briefly in the Bob Fosse corridor of death at the end of the movie "All That Jazz", and then I was awake, and a bunch of the earthbound dead were having a big shindig and hollering at me to get up and go find a place to see the sunrise, and where was the fire gonna be tonight, and was I gonna frolic out in the fields and etc.

And I was like, "damn, you couldn't wait, I was just about to meet David Bowie's spirit."

So, if you are still here, lol, tonight is gonna have MAJOR MOJO SUPERPOWER ENERGY FOR CHANGE.  Light that candle, celebrate that sunset, fuck somebody, or make love or have sex or whatever term makes you feel good about the act, send some Praises, Thanks, and Blessings out to what you love you in your life, and send some wishes up in the winds and the smoke from your fires for what you want more of in your life.

In addition to "King of the Rumbling Spires", or whatever your Bealtaine soundtrack is, I strongly suggest listening at least once to "Controversy" and reciting the "People call me rude/ I wish we all were nude..." chant sequence as an invocation.

Ask yourself: Do you believe in God? Do you believe in yourself?  Do you wanna die to be free?  If life is just a game, do you wanna play?

These are all serious and legitimate questions, especially right now.

Anyhow, that is enough my ramblings.  You know what to do.  The energy is there.  We are finally getting a dose of the antidote for the shitstorm that is 2016.

Happy Bealtaine, peeps!!!!!!! xoxoxo

** I also picked up something I am not sure I fully noticed before- the "Sam" in "Scream Like A Baby" is possibley a reference to the song "Telegram Sam." ("I remember Sam cuz he was like me/ and I never knew his last name/ and we never had no fun..."  Bowie might not have been referring to Tony Secunda, Bolan's manager, specifically.)

BTW, "we never had NO fun"- also occurs to me this could mean "we never had a time that wasn't fun".  In other words, it might be intentionally misleading.

Saturday, April 23, 2016


“How did it get so late so soon? It's night before it's afternoon. December is here before it's June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?” -- Dr. Seuss

I love doing SSL.  Each issue begins with scribbled notes to myself and a list of links on a page or two of an Open Office text document, and a folder of photographs I've downloaded and saved.  I never know how I am going to manage even 12 or 14 or 22 pages.

And then page by page it emerges.  No matter how clearly I see it in my head, it is filled with surprises.  I find more and more that I want to add.  It is draining and exhausting, and I while I am thrilled to watch it emerge, I am also usually disappointed at how short it falls from my dream of what it could be, if only I had the proper tools and plenty of time.

Since Easter I have been dealing with a health issue, an impending move at the end of April - tomorrow, actually- and a return to the buses as I prepare to take my van to her final resting place in the salvage yard where she will be cannibalised.

My laptop, where all the work of SSL, and many other things, occurs, is a 5 year old Toshiba that I bought new for $200 at Microcenter.  The computer is fairing better than the van, but I do so much downloading that I am having problems with it.  I worry that the processor is going to go before I can get a new one.

And then there is the shitstorm that is 2016, as humanity collectively overthrows the Old Piscean Age and institutions and inequality and imbalance, and leaders, the Ascended Masters like Bowie and Prince truly ascend, leaving a void in the chaos.

None of this conducive to the labour intensive work of my little 'zine, even though I love it, and also that my spirits tell me that it is indeed important, even if there is not much visible support for it.

In sum, I have no idea when I will be able to finish the Special Supplement with the interview with Jesus, or the April full moon issue.  I hope if you enjoy this 'zine you will not abandon it, or me.  I have so few resources right now, and while I hope that this week I will be able to work on it and get at least the current issue done by next weekend, I may not be able to.

Just know that I can't wait for it to come out, and that I think about it all the time.  Not just the next issue in the Google Doc format, but how to get the money to build a website, how to get the proper permissions for photos, how to get the money to print ads for it, and hopefully one day have the whole 'zine printed for distribution.

Right now all I can do is dream about it though.  Because my health, my stability, my ability to function in this world, is taking all my energy.  And even when I have free time, I am so drained that I end up binge watching netflix, or re-posting excessively on facebook, or just staring at the sights of spring in St. Louis.

(There is also my life as a political activist, and I am also feeling the same pull to do those activities, which I am also not managing very well.  It may be that when I do have energy, I will choose to immerse myself in the shared reality.  The global consciousness shift is taking place, and there are many movements and uprisings, but from what I am seeing with my Third Eye much more needs to happen.  Much, much more.)

So I hope there will be a new issue soon. And I hope you will be waiting for it, no matter how long it takes me to finish it.

Thursday, April 21, 2016


Prince is dead.  I am still not over David Bowie.

Prince died on a Thursday, ruled by Jupiter, and the colour of the day is purple.  I don't think that means anything.  It was just something I was thinking about.

Rain-Bowie's and Purple Rain. These are the omens of the apocalypse, not those locusts and whores-men from the book of "revelations."

Are these deaths Ascended Masters releasing their Old Piscean Age personas so they can reincarnate, as the spirits said at Samhain many would be doing this year?

Or is this some Evil/Archon/Illuminati/El bullshit to delay the shift or drive all of us into utter despair?

Yesterday's energy was SO off, as detailed in my last post.  I know the shitstorm is here.  I have been seeing and feeling it in glimpses for the last 8 or 10 years.  But I didn't see Bowie's death- he was immortal, he was gonna live forever as a God.  And Prince?  He is a force of nature.  If he is gone I want to believe it is because it was his time and his Higher Self knew it.  Not that he was sucked into the bad energy of the shitstorm.

I was going to make some Mercury retrograde charms yesterday and do my rite for Iris.  I didn't have time or energy after the day of riding buses and driving cars, and watching traffic accidents and people behaving oddly.

Now I am wondering if what I need to is make a bunch of  "musicians I can't live without" charms and send them out in fan mail, hoping they reach their destination, and hoping that my power and love is strong enough.

I know that the Old Age has to go, and that part of that will be souls that will transition.  But the world feels very empty right now.

As with Bowie, I probably won't be able to listen to Prince for at least another few days-- I mean, where I purposely seek out his music.  Not just hearing it from everywhere I go- from cars, in stores, etc.

Rest in Power, Prince.  Thank you for all you gave the world.  I am glad I walked this earth for 50 years with you upon it.

Astrologer Zell Bodine on Prince's death, with his natal chart.

This is the link to the earlier post she references.

Prince's Freddie Gray tribute

Prince inspired two generations (just while he was alive) to be the weirdo's that they wanted to be

PS- IronicallyTony Visconti who is on tour with his Bowie Tribute band posted a "rain-Bowie" he saw last night in Arizona... I am hope the Goddess Iris gives Prince a Purple rainbow over Minneapolis.  There are massive spirit orbs in this photo:

Wednesday, April 20, 2016


A magickal somebody said to me the other day "it doesn't seem like anything is happening, everything is just spinning around and around".   In the eye of the storm there is calm.  Everything is just whirling and whirling around you, but other than the occasional spatter, there is actually a feeling of being frozen, out of touch, stagnant, and perhaps for some, isolated.

The shitstorm is not just the collapse of the Old Age structures and the chaos and revolutions and wars and clash of civilisations, it is also natural disasters, and accidents.

People associate traffic and other accidents with Mercury "retrograde" fuzziness.  But it is Mars that rules accidents.  (And wars, of course, and explosions, and animals-- including strange animal behaviours and attacks.)

For the last week I have been hearing about accidents from other people.  But I am not driving much these days-- after acquiring a car again after many years, a vehicle which needed a lot of repairs, and finally became too much for me-- I am mostly back on public transit.

At 4:20 today I was buying gas, and I realised it was 420.  Today was definitely NOT a celebratory, laid back, trippy holiday for me.  It was a day of bus and car trips.  And traffic accidents. I passed three very serious accidents on highways.  By serious I mean all the lanes shut down, multiple ambulances, fire trucks, and flatbed towing trucks.  Luckily these were always on the other side of the highway.  I only had to slow because of all the looky-loos.

And today was one of the few days when I got stuck in real traffic.  By real, I mean "worthy of Los Angeles", however, this was just the usual, badly, timed MODOT "road work during rush hour".  It was however, enough, to make me get off the freeway early, and take an unusual route.

But the worse thing I saw was an accident involving a pedestrian.  A guy hit a woman crossing at a crosswalk, and then drove forward, basically hitting her again.  I admit I thought the worst of him, that he was trying to get away, but afterward I think maybe he just hit the gas in shock.  Either way, the woman is looking at a broken leg, at least.  And it was very upsetting for me to witness it.

I've been searching the news for the accidents I saw today and I think only one on them was listed.  I can't be sure from the time they reported or from the photos.  The flip side of "fuzziness" is the road and "roid" rage.  The shooting at Wash. U. might have been road rage.

A lot of people in St. Louis seem like they are on auto-pilot to me.  Too many people here go in circles day after day, so familiar with their routine that they don't really see it. I know that accidents happen everywhere.  And I have seen bad accidents in Los Angeles and other places, too.  But what I saw today, and what I have been hearing from other people the last few days, the fuzzy factor is out of control.

The whole planet is out of balance, tipping on it's side.  We are out of balance economically, spiritually/ethically, ecologically, and in so many other ways.  Even being aware is not enough. New Age and Magickal peeps might not be able to wear blinders right now.  Intense focus with constant peripheral awareness is needed right now.

We are Witness to the collapse, at best.  At worst we ourselves are hit with the falling debris.  Count your blessings.  As disturbing as today was for me, it was not deadly or devastating.  I am sad though, for things that I saw today, both with my eyes and with my Third Eye.

I console myself with Democracy Spring.  The good side of the collapse.

EDIT: Democracy Spring gives me hope because of the uprising of people who want change, NOT because of all the arrests.  PLEASE PLEASE don't just take the plea and pay the fine.  PLEASE challenge these arrests in court.

Sunday, April 10, 2016


I will be at the Haunt's monthly astrology party tonight from 4-8 PM reading tarot cards and hanging out.

5000 Alaska, Dutchtown.

Friday, April 1, 2016


Not only is this one 36 pages again, I actually cut out a big chunk that will be a special edition later this month.  Because of all the waiting for Jesus and not formatting, this one looks rough, but it is still good.  Much more 'zine looking than the other three.


Wednesday, March 23, 2016


I took my last post down.  Basically, it still freaks ME out when I have a psychic vision of the future. And it freaks me out even more when that vision leads to a lot of stuff in the world that I would really rather not have to live through. Or have anyone else live through.

But, as Jesus pointed out yesterday (He finally showed up for SSL interview, and the issue will probably not be done until Easter now):

"This moment is all any of us really have..."  and a lot of other stuff that you can read in the interview if you want.

I will re-iterate that this is the year to begin a 9-year plan for gardening and collecting rainwater, because at some point the poisoning of the environment that heretofore has mostly been seen on television news as happening "elsewhere" will at some point hit developed countries like ours.  And it will be worse in places like this.  Most people in India already have the water situation that Flint is suffering- i.e,, water that is not clean and makes them sick.

And as my urban gardener friends are fond of pointing out, our supermarkets filled with food that has been trucked in have only three days worth of food if those trucks were not able to deliver.

That the delusional, greedy, psychopaths that rule the world will suffer too will be no comfort to any of us. That the level of violence in the world will affect them will not be of solace.

Anyhow, it's Spring, it's beautiful, and there is still a lot of room for change. Nothing to do but keep on keeping on.

Tuesday, March 15, 2016


I posted this on Political Activist's Guide to St. Louis, but I am re-posting because I would really like to have some conversations about this.  It has a different title on that blog:

(EDIT: Please note, this post rambles and is kind of incoherent.  I suddenly realized I had an opinion about slavery that I had never noticed before.  It touches on a number of different aspects of things I have thought about a lot before, but never from the view of "what if a lot more people owned only a few slaves, instead of a small percentage owning a large number of slaves".  So I apologize, if I am not presenting completely clear thoughts.  I posted this mostly in hopes that someone would post a link to any books to read that address this. Or was this myth so embedded in my head that I need to go back and re-read some things?  Without the plantation myth I also realized that I hadn't fully seen all the roots of these people who think the Emancipation Proclamation was a bad thing.  26% of Donald Drumpf supporters, said one meme statistic that I saw on facebook.  I don't know how accurate that is, but I believe it possible.  And I believe a lot of it is handed down from former slave owning families, generation to generation.)

The Saint Louis library has 6 copies of this book, most of them are in the Stacks at Central, but Baden and Cabanne have copies on the shelves.

I just happened to see it while I was wandering around Baden, the kind of book I would check out anyhow, but it turned out to be enlightening in terms of the "Drumpf" phenomenon, and the Ferguson/BLM trolls.

In the introduction, straight away, a major myth about slavery in the United States is dispelled. Only half of the slaves in the south lived on plantations, and the slave population on plantations was on average 20.  Larger plantations with 50 or more slaves were roughly 20% of slave-owning populace.

The image of the plantation slave, surrounded by large numbers of fellow slaves, one among many, with each other and against their wealthy, white owners, creates a much different image of slavery than the statistics presented in this book.

The author examines census reports from Wayne County, Kentucky, and the statistics show that most slaves lived in close quarters with the white families that owned them. For women slaves, especially, this must have been a nightmare, and Stockholm's Syndrome to escape the misery of reality's truth was probably frequent, if not permanent. It seems that most slave women in the census bore mulatto children.  Raped by the Master at midnight, up before dawn to serve him breakfast.  And how would the owner's wife not know?

American Horror Story's Marie Delphine LaLaurie might have been more gruesome, but I expect African women suffered the worse abuse from the Mistress.

I haven't read enough Henry Gates, Jr., or Zora Neale Hurston, and certainly not with this understanding, to know if the "plantation myth" has been dispelled in academic circles.  (I haven't yet read the Ta-Nehisi Coates Reparations book yet, but I am glad now I read Streets' book first.) But in popular myth- even for someone like me, a "white ally" or "white aware"- there is an image of most slaves living separately from the white owners, with the Master having to enter the slave quarters to sire more workers and satisfy whatever sexual predilections he might have- and I imagine there was a lot of sadism and pedophilia that is not documented.

And the myth of field hands being jealous of house slaves. Would it have been a relief to be sold to large plantation, and not be sole focus of the Master's rape and the Mistress's revenge?  Not have to be in the house at night?

I wonder if the plantation mythos remains popular because in addition to making it seem as if only a relatively small percentage of white southerners owned slaves (something I used to believe before looking at this book) this myth also substantiates all the historical claims that white people lived in constant fear of a slave revolt.

With this new understanding, I think it is more likely that most slave owners lived in fear of their morning porridge being laced with morning glory seeds.  And because of this threat in close quarters, racism had to be heavily institutionalized.  Too many white slave owners lived with slaves that used the butcher's knife and machete all day. (I know that's what I would have been thinking about every time I chopped potatoes.)

Slave patrols and policing and mobs were the instruments of plantation owners with their 20 or more slaves.  The early version of the riot squad. But the inability of a person with black skin to find a friend in any part of Southern society was to ensure that no slave ever get the idea that they were going to be able to get away from the Master by killing him.  That was the more effective protection for the small, poorer, family with just a few slaves.

Another thought was that while very poor whites would always see slaves as both competition for work, and also the people he could look down upon and feel superior about their place under the boot of class society- almost the very bottom of society, but still not an African slave- a labouring slave-owning man could lease out his and his slaves' time, also putting the white man with no slaves at a loss.

This revelation gave me some thoughts on re-examining the Great Scramble's effects on the end of slavery in the U.S.  All the European nations were in a rush to enslave the African continent when slavery in this country was ending. In my opinion, (again, I don't know if this academic, I don't see it covered in general studies and encyclopedias) no European nation and the US could not repatriate African slaves en masse for fear of the armies that could potentially be raised.

(And let's not forget that Haiti had to pay the French back for loss of income after the revolution.  That's right.  Haiti finally managed to do that - IN 1950! So Josephine Baker and Bricktop and Bohemian 1920's Paris aside, the French government is still just another oppressor, class, racist nation.)

And I also would like to re-examine the famine Irish (and the Scots-Irish from the Clearances) that came in the late 1800's in large numbers.  Still today racism against black people is notorious among their descendants.  There was a lot of stress between the Irish already here and the waves of immigrants that came here- up to the 1950's.

As freed slaves and their children moved into the cities, the Irish sharecroppers- the Murphy's and Kennedy's and McDonnell's -that had starved in their own country and been spit on by other Irish in this country could scapegoat the slaves, many of whom shared their last names.

The Klansman of today has his poor, white, slave owning ancestors (not necessarily his own blood relatives) to thank for the all the mixed African and European DNA in our society.  Not a handful of wealthy plantation owners and white overseers, but his own historical self.  The plantation myth serves today's white supremacist for this reason, too. 

The supporters of Donald Drumpf that are the real inheritors of the legacy of widespread, non-plantation slavery.  Many families have secrets.  But the poor family with the slave-owning ancestor has probably passed on stories that were only told in secret to other family members.

Among a lot of middle class (or middle class cultured) white people, race is not discussed in polite society.  White people that do talk about race, especially when they talk about African Americans, mark themselves right away.  This is something that I have never been able to describe satisfactorily.

It is something so inherent in white American culture, that I think a Ph.D. level thesis paper would be required.  It is not even recognizable to a lot of white people, because it so instinctive. On both sides.

The white families that historically or personally mourned the loss of their family slaves view white people that are less racist- even cultural sensitivity in professional or work environments- as the outsiders or enemies.

I've had numerous conversations with white people about this, and everyone can identify this experience only after it has happened, and after the other person reveals themselves. For example, during Obama's election year, during Ferguson, the widespread openness in white society, talking about race, and finding out that all along, that friend on social media, or the women that you lunch with at work, have just not been talking about race openly because they had already identified you as an outsider.

But when it came out in the open, me and my friends saw them for racists. And they had been hiding it, ducking all the conversations about race.  Because they recognised me, and people like me, right away.

What I am talking about is something that happens that even I don't always see, and I am looking for it.  In fact, I am looking for it so that I can do the same thing!  The careful smile, the quick change of subject, the extra niceness that was not motivated by any genuine liking but by the desire to keep me away from the important difference between us that will create issues when it comes out.  Keep it out of the workplace relationship, or the neighbourhood relationship, etc.  They feel like they have to protect themselves.  If their great-great grandaddy didn't own slaves, they wish that he had.

To them the world is not racist enough.   I see them as being aligned with institutionalized racism, with the structure and power of racism- but they do not.    Donald Drumpf supporters and white supremacists and capitalists that rely on institutionalized racism to line their pockets with profits from cheap labour or justify an invasion or fill an army are becoming the minority.  Drumpf is promising to bring back a time they never lived in- not in the 1980's or the 1950's, but the 1850's.

These people had the same complaints in the 1950's and the 1980's.  Phyllis Schlafley spoke at the Donald Drumpf rally last week.  She's still saying the same thing she said 40 years ago when I left St. Louis for Los Angeles. As I might have written in another post- there is no America that any of these people lived through that they considered great. When these Drumpf supporters say "Make America Great Again" I thought they were talking about the Reagan years and they were just totally forgetting that they were this unhappy and complaining about everything back then, too.  But just more openly.  They still controlled the culture.

Now I think they are talking about back in the days when they would have been allowed to own slaves.  (I'm curious enough that if I had the time and money to do some sort of genealogical research on Drumpf supporters I would.  But I bet there are plenty that just inherited the legacy by osmosis of living in our society.  Manifest Destiny, the Monroe Doctrine, the Taney Code, all of these contributed with private family stories and histories.)

I am so thankful that Ferguson and Black Lives Matter have put race and racism out in the open in our society.  As a nation, we need to be having these conversations.  We need for people to be open about what they really think.

But even that is an affront to the Drumpf supporter.  Because they feel oppressed that they have had to keep silent distance from people like me. They want the antebellum south.

Again, "equality feels like oppression to the oppressor, and special treatment to the oppressed."

I would love to hear any comments or thoughts or feedback on any of this.  Or any suggestions of other good books to read.  About 20 years ago I read a number of Civil War books.  They included Gone With The Wind and Uncle Tom's Cabin.  I really hated GWTW, but I didn't like Uncle Tom's Cabin much.  Both were the portraits of plantation life, although now I want to look at UTC again and see if my ignorance about individuals owning just a few slaves were the majority caused me to overlook it. (I don't remember much of it.)

This also changes how I look at individual slave narratives and biographies, too.  In this case, though, I feel certain that once I start to review them, I will see that evidence was there, but I wasn't looking for it. A subconscious assumption of some other explanation- perhaps that slaves that were owned by poor families and lived lives more isolated from other slaves might have more opportunities to escape, tell their stories, etc.

I was always rejecting justifications and explanations for slavery and racism, but I never knew enough to reject the "plantations with 50 or more slaves" were the majority.

My fiction writer's mind wonders now if there isn't some sort of former slave-owning "Marrano"-type secret societies, hidden among us?   (Marrranos are Jews in Portugal and Spain that converted to Catholicism during the Inquistion but secretly continued private rituals among the families for hundreds of years.  They married among other Marrano families and even had their own dialect.  Some families that came out of the closet after World War 2 did not even realize that their secret tradition was founded in Judaism, and not witchcraft or pagan practices.(EDIT I shouldn't have to add this, but just in case, let me be clear I am not comparing the Marrano's need for secrecy with people who want to own slaves like grandaddy did, just that the Marranos had a secret society that rivals the theories about Illuminati secret societies, and the Marranos are well documented.))

One final loose thought, I wonder now, too, about the Caribbean and Mexico, Central, and South America, and the slavery situation there?  Is the plantation majority true in other countries?

These are all things I hope to investigate, and that I think are relevant today, in order to understand how to eradicate racism all together.

Thursday, March 10, 2016


I really don't like March.  Or it doesn't like me. When I was 14 a lot of really fucked up shit happened to me in March.  That is part of it.  But it is also just- blah, I don't know, the end of winter?  I can't believe this is only the 10th.  21 more days of this month left.

This year though, it seems like something is brewing.  Something in addition to my usual March depression.  Astrologically we are in some sort of Mars cycle that brings revolutions.  Plus I have the urge to leave town.  I know that I complain about St. Louis a lot, and if I had nothing tying me here I would leave.  But this feeling is different.  Like something big is going to hit and I might be better off out of here.  (Mars is often linked to natural disasters, too.   I just have this uneasy feeling about the region.)

I had that at the end of December too.  The "revolution" feeling.  But it turned out to be those Bundy right wing whack jobs in Oregon.  So maybe it is somewhere else, and like the Oregon "take-over" (with snacks! and dildoes!) will not turn out as the planners were expecting.

I think some people that don't know me that well might think that I am making up the "Wakon" visitations I have been reporting in Supernatural Saint Louis.  I am not.  I didn't know about Wakons until 2 years ago.  But now that I know what they are, I can feel them stirring. Something is really out of balance here.  (I also was not making up that spell for re-balancing the power in St. Louis.  The Spring Equinox and the 23rd are made for it.)

I started another 'zine   It's linked to Occupy Public Transportation in St Louis.  I probably won't be able to get everyone to register to vote, or to do 5 extra actions a month for 11 months,  Or get the city to consider actually solving some of the problems -like the high crime rate with actual economic development, repairing the schools and creating plenty of after school activities. But I guess it is just in my nature to try, anyhow.

The answer to all of the problems in St. Louis seems to be "more cops".  When has that ever worked?  Our youth are the future, and we can't find the money to educate them? Give them a place in the world? No wonder there is increasing mob violence, crime, random shootings, heroin use. In St. Louis everything is about what high school you attend.  And most of the High Schools offer only the hope of a working at a minimum wage job and taking the bus there.

At least City leaders have stopped pushing that "Attracting Talented Young Professionals With An Entrepreneurial Spirit" bullshit.  That was just pissing people off.  What about the talented young professionals here? And hey, when the city DID attract a lot of tourists- for political action during Ferguson- all they did was whine about it.

Attract all you want, but if people here don't have money to spend, no amount of Entrepreneurial Spirit is going to help.

The Social House in the Loop is lifting my March mood a little though.  It's like a big HAHAHA to Wash U and the Joe Edwards Empire.  They ruined the neighbourhood, jacked the sales tax way up for the trolley, pretty much kicked out public transit via removing all the bus shelters and leaving only a few widely spaced stops (and only one bus route through the length of the Loop, and I expect that will be re-routed permanently any day now).  And property taxes in U City- yeah everyone knows they are paying extra because Wash U owns so much and it is all tax free.  And those Wash U patrols and blue light boxes don't make up for it.

Social House is a much better fit for the New Loop, where most of the eating establishments now accept Wash U student Bear Cards ( student meal cards).  The Loop is just any other college town now, nothing special. If Social House gets their liquor license I predict they become the busiest place in the Loop, and it will be a nice twist of the knife to watch how much money they bring U city in sales tax.

I'm sure Edwards, and the owners of Ciceros and Fitz's, realise how much business they will lose, though, and I think it safe to assume Social House won't get a liquor licence.

Everything in this city just seems ridiculous to me.  St Louis is so tiny.  It really wouldn't be that difficult to make some real changes here- not just more cops for crime, and sales tax incentives to big businesses, etc.  Real changes.  $15 an hour minimum wage. Legal marijuana,  Solvent schools with after-school programmes and sports, tutoring.  Free Community College.  A city jobs programme for the unemployed. Housing for the Homeless... I don't even need to list all of this.  If you are even reading this blog for the first time you already know what I am going to say.

My Berkeley arrest during the Ferguson protests is coming up in court in April.  I am going to do what I can to challenge all of the violations against the First Amendment and local laws prohibiting the police from taking too many powers.  "Treating Illness"  (much more lucrative than "Health Care") is probably the biggest money maker in St. Louis- the hospitals, Express Scripts, etc.  But the real power is the cops, lawyers, and judges.  And I have no faith in judicial honesty or intelligence in this city.  McCulloch is basically a thug.  A lot of judges are basically thugs. Everything is geared to white county residents - religious, white collar, white skinned, West and South county residents.

What's happening in Flint with the water is happening here in so many ways- it is just not as obvious, or as fast-acting.  But we are being robbed- of our rights, of our resources, and of our health.

One of things that is bumming me out is that of course a thug like McCulloch is gonna take every opportunity he gets, as much power as he can get.  But why haven't more citizens of St. Louis fought back against this?  Or, is it a  losing battle?  Too many people that just care about themselves?

The people who say shit like,"Well, I'm all for demonstrations but don't block traffic because then you mess with people's money."  (Meaning they can't get to their jobs.)  I had this convo the other day.  It wasn't about Ferguson, it was about my arrest back in 86 for blocking traffic in front of one of Reagan's SDI nuclear weapons facilities.

I said "Really?  What if it had been road repair, or an accident?"  That was different, according to this person.  "Okay, well what about the people that get bombed by the nuclear weapons, doesn't that mess with their money?" I don't hate this person, or anything.  But, like the bulk of St. Louis, this was a person with a sour, unhappy, overworked look permanently etched on their face, and a genuine belief that they are superior because they have NEVER had a problem that has driven them out into the streets in protest.  Or a problem with society that they couldn't solve-or more likely, couldn't just ignore by turning the television up or going on vacation.

Ironically it is this person's corner where I think are where the revolution is brewing.  The Bundy's - both Cliven and Al- who up until now had all the privilege and weren't questioned at all.  "Equality feels like privilege to the oppressed, but to the oppressor it feels like discrimination."  The people who think that because their order is wrong at McDonald's then the minimum wage shouldn't be raised. Who think not living in a white, "Christian" culture is "religious oppression."  Who swallow 5 meds for blood pressure, diabetes, anti-depressants, etc, with their Bud Light, and think weed is "drug addiction."

There is so much untapped potential in this city.  So many wasted resources. And there are so many unique opportunities here. So many changes that could be easily made.

But hey, let's get more cops and just see if we can push all the crime into areas where none of the nice white west county soccer moms go, and push some more sales tax bonds to pay for the cops.  Way to go, St. Louis.

One last thing to add to my bitchfest/pity party: the aura surrounding City Hall looks like Jaba the Hutt.  Seriously.  If you can see psychic energy, go look at it.  It looks like a big pile of shit with reptillian eyes and a mouth that could swallow the Arch without opening all the way.

Saturday, February 27, 2016

Sunday, February 14, 2016


It was September or October that my spirits (Guardians, Guides, and my ever-shifting but always present entourage of the deceased) started leaning on me to do the Supernatural St. Louis 'zine. (I have hundreds of projects on my to-do list.) Since I also have a political 'zine that I hope to get started soon, and since I think that the political zine will have more of an impact in changing this world and ushering in the New Age in a visible way, I kind of ignored the "pushes".  It was after Samhain that I started feeling that breathe on my neck kind of urgency.  The kind  of urgency where if I ignore my spirits or procrastinate I end up regretting it.

So, I got the zine out, finally, and then the second issue.  And well, not too much has happened. The first issue- with the article on the Arch, got over 100 hits.  The second issue has about 25.  (It's hard to tell because I can't count how many times the Google Doc has been accessed, and the blog only counts when someone actually goes to the post.  In other words, if you just go to my blog and click the link to the Google Doc, it doesn't register it as a pageview- it shows a visit to the blog, but doesn't count it as a pageview.)

In my fantasy, the first issue came out- in printed format- and immediately I started getting submissions for articles and images, and angry letters from other pagans about my versions of the pagan feast days, or gods, or what have you.  The second issue made me realise that I might have to do the whole thing alone for a while, maybe a year. I never meant for it to be a solo effort.  I wanted to provide a forum for all of the supernatural communities.  But first I have to create the forum.  And that obviously isn't going to happen with a zine that has no printed distribution, or professional on-line format.  (Working on both of those things.)

I would like to find local witches to send in spells or astral travel reports.  Or articles on supernatural phenomena that I am not witness to. As a Medium, I have no understanding of Ghost Hunting.  I would like to have articles about St. Louis' Ghost Hunters, and perhaps I will write one, but I am in constant contact with dead people.  I don't need to hunt ghosts or measure their ectoplasms with scientific instruments. I would be (will be) writing the article because it is something I want to see in SSL, not because I am qualified.

And I had no idea how much work it would take to get the publication to even resemble something I wanted to put my name on.  (In my fantasy it really looked like a professional glossy tabloid.) But mid-way through issue two I realised how much I loved doing it.  Regardless of the reasons that my spirits felt it was timely, it was timely for me because I do really dislike winter in St. Louis.  I need a project to look forward to, that will consume me.

And because SSL is monthly, it is consuming like any writing project, but not open-ended and years long.  A book really takes two years, sometimes longer. SSL is satisfying, but also manageable.  It is exciting, but not draining.  And it gives me a sense of accomplishment, which is better than excitement.

Many people, including myself, mistake happiness for excitement.  The excitement of an event or trip, a change in the routine.  Or the excitement of spending money.  Or making it.  Or the excitement that comes when a life event or situation conforms to an expectation or fantasy.  "I'm in love, I'm happy!" "I have a new car, I'm happy!" "I got a promotion, I'm happy!" "I'm going to Bali, I'm happy!"

That kind of happiness never lasts because it isn't happiness. Not for me.  And I wish it hadn't taken me 5 decades to learn that.  For me, real happiness is a decision to always be reaching for happiness- especially when there is no excitement or circumstance to grant the feeling spontaneously- and self-love.  I learned that from the dead peeps.  Regret, resentment, fear, guilt, anger- dead people really understand that the only thing anyone really possesses in life is that moment. This moment.  Now. Right now.

Happiness is like pearls on string- to borrow from Anne Morrow Lindbergh's description of a perfect summer.  A happy life is a life made of happy moments.

This is the first year of my life where I would not be bothered to eat in a restaurant by myself on Valentine's Day.  I long ago got over the retail bullshit- not that I don't like flowers or chocolate or jewelry- but the social stigma of being alone or single on V.D. lingered.

At 50, and in possession of the decision to be happy regardless of what is happening around me or to me- I have become incredibly selfish about honouring my own feelings.  I rarely go out to eat, and even more rarely alone (I like to cook), but it is nice to be free of the sensitivity to other people's reactions.  I love myself enough now to do what feels best to me.

I think many creative people will understand when I say the best Valentine I could get this year (and every year) would be the time and resources to be so absorbed in writing- SSL, the books I am working on, blogging, my comic book script, short stories, poems- that I don't even notice that a holiday is approaching.  It is true that writers, especially, can get sucked into black holes of oblivion to anything but a page count, for years.  Far too long to be healthy, and we probably do need someone that will pull us out for dinner and socialising every now and again.

But Valentine's Day would not be one of those now and agains for me.  I just don't care. I want flowers and candy when I have finished a draft.  Or found a publisher.  Not because the Catholic Church couldn't squelch Valentinus belief in sexual union as a path to Gnosis, and later made up some other martyr named Valentine, and gave him a feast day, so that they could channel off a lusty party they couldn't stop, and then 1600 years later our consumer culture turned the whole mess into another retail frenzy... complete with "spinster" shaming and man romancing obligations.

Seriously.  The holiday is ridiculous.  Before the Industrial Age February was the natural time for romance.  It was the only time of year- even in hard years- when working people had time for any sort of private-life leisure and court-ship.  (Even one hundred years ago, 75% of all households in the U.S. were farms.)

We don't live in that world anymore.  V.D. needs to be reinvented for the New Age.  It's basically the "nice" side of misogyny.  I'm not saying the whole romantic thing needs to be dumped, but it needs to be balanced.  It needs to be about more than candy and flowers and lingerie and going out to dinner. All those doilies and cards and red roses at Walgreens are ridiculous.  How much more consumer crap can this world produce before the planet collapses under the weight of America's need for consumer excitement? Excuse me, "happiness"?

SO, my Superbowl prediction was waaaaaaaay off.  Like WAY OFF.  I had Broncos 49 and the other team at 33 or 38.  (I posted on my facebook page right before the game.) And it was pretty consistent vision and I even tried to bet.  As soon as the game was in the first quarter I was so glad I hadn't!

I really think that 2008 game was rare.  A very stable set of players on both teams, and few changes or alterations.  Psychics, more than anyone, know that the future is never set in stone.  But this year, I think my own prediction was off, too.  I didn't take it seriously, and especially the night before the game, if I was going to bet, instead of looking up on line betting sites while partying at Venice for Mardi Gras, I would have needed to be at home, meditating and visualizing.

Just some late night thoughts, at the end of a writer's winter day... I really miss L.A. in winter.  St. Louis is my home now, at least for the foreseeable future, but I am not a fan of the weather here... Brrr...

Blessings, peeps!

Sunday, January 31, 2016


IT IS FABULOUS!  Truly something for everyone.  "Limited time" Mardi Gras photo spread.

Go to the post and then click on the links to the Google Docs for Front cover, Contents (26 pages). and Back cover (same as last month).

To whet your appetite, here are the contents! (The tab formatting was lost when I cut and pasted.  The numbers are page numbers.)  Like I said, something for everyone!!!!

Rain “Bowie” .........................................2

9th Planet ................................................2

Trolls ......................................................3

Arke ........................................................4

Burns Night ...........................................6 

Frederick Douglass' Burns Night ........6

Michael Jackson & Robert Burns .......6

Ian Anderson .........................................6

Pagan Saint Bridget ..............................7

Saint Valentine the Heretic ..................7

Imbolc ....................................................8

Year of The Monkey .............................9

Familiars ...............................................10

New Moon Magick ...............................10

Photo and Image credits .......................10

Mardi Gras ............................................11

David Bowie ...........................................19

Happy Birthday Bob Marley ...............22

Calendar ................................................23

In Memoriam Alan Rickman ...............24

Hayao Miyazaki ...................................25

Endorsements ........................................26


Friday, January 15, 2016


Today is Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday.  A spirit so bright he still shines today, and someone that truly understood that we cannot live in a world of inequality, classes, oppression and wars.  I hope this year we can really share in his legacy and finish the journey he started.  #BlackLivesMatter

There are many ways to celebrate King's life and take action for social change all weekend and Monday:

My birthday is tomorrow. If you would like to celebrate my birthday, please consider doing one or all of the following:

1) Make a wish or cast a spell for me, for my prosperity, luck, health... mostly for my prosperity.

2) Tell a joke or watch or listen to something that makes you laugh really hard, and fill the world with laughter.

3) Share a Pink Flyer from the Pink Flyer Project, or share the link to the FB page (I can't find the password or email for the blog, lol, so I do everything through the FB page now.) 

4) Do these things between 3:53 PM CST (1553) and 4 PM (1600) on Saturday, January 16th.

If you want to "buy me a drink" for $3 on my paypal for my birthday ( I will use it for either my gym membership yearly fees, printing out Pink Flyers to post and distribute, Supernatural St. Louis printed editions, or political flyers on registering to vote for Occupy Public Transportation in St. Louis. You can choose if you put a note on the paypal memo.

Thank you!

Wednesday, January 13, 2016


I see meme's that a heavy metal is going to be named after Lemmy of Motorhead.  Someone posted a meme saying that Bowie should have an exotic reef fish named after him because of his colourful personas over the years.

On Sunday a giant rainbow appeared over New York City.  A "rain-Bowie" a woman on facebook called it.  (This link shows all the photos of the rainBowie.)  The link describes how "Starman" was partly inspired by "Over the Rainbow".

I don't normally associate Bowie with a lot of Christian symbolism, but looking at the "Lazarus" video I was struck that his last album's first single was named for a resurrection, the album was released on a Friday, Bowie's birthday, and he died on Sunday.

Bowie's resurrection was to return to the womb of all creativity.  "Look up, I'm in Heaven."  And here was the corpus of Iris to show the path to the next realm.  Bowie is painting on a larger canvas now, for all to see.  We only have to look to the sky, to the astral, to Heaven.  Now there truly is a Starman waiting in the sky.

EDIT: 15 January 2016: A great article about Bowie's occult symbolism... A must read for Magickal Folk, CM's, Kabbalists, and Bowie Fans...

I believe in celebrating one's birthday- even if just singing to yourself a "Happy Birthday" song- because the door you come in to this life is the same door you exit out of life.  And it seemed appropriate to me because I do see Bowie as a God.  He was definitely a World Walker.  And a Shaman.

I might form a church called "RainBowie" or something.

EDIT/PS: I see Bowie faces in the cloud shapes.  I guess I will be like one of those Elivs fans that is always seeing faces in pancakes and stuff.  Maybe when an artist means that much to someone you see them everywhere after they are gone.