Wednesday, May 27, 2015


Today I found myself in a situation that I have been in before.  Even though deja vu had been falling on me all week, and the spirits have been loud and nasty, I did not hear the message until this morning.

Once again, I was about to launch myself into something with vague parameters and unrealistic expectations and a lot of work for me that may or may not bring any rewards.

I seem to be catching the bad patterns sooner and sooner.  I still get upset, explode, blame, throw a temper tantrum- but I move on quickly.

I know what needs to be done in my life.  There is a famous Hindu proverb  (so beloved by my beloved grandmother that she pre-arranged to have it included in her Memorial service).

"Help thy brother's boat across and Lo! thine own has reached the shore!"

I used to think that I had to "help" people fix their problems, or row their boats, to be of assistance.  Sometimes that meant me forcing my help or my opinions where they weren't wanted.  Sometimes I gave too much of myself to a situation where people undervalued my contributions.

Either way, I prefer my new perspective that is far more helpful to me and anyone I try to assist.  Now I look for those that are travelling in the same direction, headed for the same shore.  I try to ask what I can do to help them.  What they think they want.  Then I see if I have it to give.

Of course, had I pulled up alongside the Titanic, my tiny boat would have been able to save a few people, but not many.  And had I been adrift at sea and needed rescuing, the Titanic would have been no help for me.

I am learning to say no when the lifeboat is full.   It's been a little harder to politely refuse "rescue" from the sinking ship.

But I'm learning.

AND all this while I've been quitting smoking AGAIN! I really, really hope this is the last time I have to quit.  Sunday night I ran out of cigarettes.  On Monday I was jonesin' bad and I found an old "one-hit" (used for herb) and started smoking tobacco gleaned from the butts of American Spirit cigarettes in the ashtray.  I don't think the tobacco equalled even on cigarette.  I am going to run out tonight, and hopefully tomorrow I will have the resolve to just fully quit.  I am so sick of that disgusting habit, and also myself for constantly going back to it when I am "stressed".

One last aside, regarding the television show "Breaking Bad", I loved the writing and acting and direction.  It was a great show.  The writing especially was amazing.  But I really disliked that main character Walter White.   His greedy ambition in the face of death made me really sad.  But the other day I saw a meme or something from the show, I don't recall what, but I found myself thinking about it from a different perspective.

In fact, as I thought about the ending (he basically achieves no financial gain, leaves his wife and child in worse shape, kills people, turns into the worse kind of man, etc) I realised that the writer had demonstrated that, and what actually bothered me was the hero worship many men had for Walter White the bad guy.

Things are going haywire in the world right now, but there are a lot of new perspectives and views.   These were a few of mine recently.

If you are struggling through your own bad habits right now, check your natal chart against the planetary line up. has the best general forecasts, and will give you your basic natal and on free Thursdays, highlights of the aspects you are dealing with.  And if you are having communications difficulties or accidents, check out what is happening with Mercury and Mars right now.


EDIT:  The troll is back so I turned on comment modification.  I delete his comments because I just don't need to deal with this dude.  His comment was that Walter White was able to leave the money for his kid through his rich former partners.  That is true.  But money doesn't buy back a father, or buy a father that can be trusted.  Or time with his father that was wasted making drugs.  So whatever, troll.  I REALLY feel sorry for Mike Chin Hair, the troll (if you care, see a few posts down "God Is In The Rain, even for the trolls")  There isn't much to care about with Chin Hair though.  He's  one of the zombies.

Saturday, May 2, 2015


Was talking to a friend the other day about the freedom and joy that comes along- or did for us, anyhow- in our forties.  Why does it take almost 4 decades of life to iron out all the crap from childhood? (That's to ponder, not to necessarily try to answer in a blog post- even one of my exhausting doctoral thesis length rants.)

If the 40's were fierce and free, then the 50's look like they will be about focus.  There is so much information available all the time! Bombarded.  The amount of information available, and the speed that it travels, has increased logarithmically, astronomically, in the last 15 years.  This is a New Age, for sure.  The Age of Electronic Fire, of the new wheel- the whirring processor and invisible wings of the internet, and all technology.


Each has his/her individual plots to cultivate, and crops to grow.  This year's Bealtaine feels very male and war-like.  It's on Cinco de Mayo- a military holiday- and on a Tuesday. Venus has been beaming like a spaceship for the last few weeks.  She's the nice Lady who tries to calm things down before they escalate.  I hope her influence will keep the hotheads cool. And we do have this lovely Spring weather here in St. Louis.  It's been gorgeous. That should help, too.

Tonight (Saturday the 2nd) and tomorrow night are the best nights for moon magick, broomsticks, and Mercury "Retrograde" preparation.

I hope on Tuesday night at sunset you will take a moment to open your heart to the new spirits that are being born, and coming into the world- leaf and shoot, and babies and foals, and new dreams and new ways of doing things.  It's a good night for lovemaking and fertility rituals of all kinds. 

If you are a warrior, or a peacemaker going among the warriors, make yourself a shield of light.  If you are the "Devil's Advocate" and/or a Destroyer of the decaying and useless, sharpen your sword.  If you are a Tempter, Tester- the one that finds the strengths and the weaknesses in yourself or others- better have both.

This Bealtaine is red like a burning sun, like an hot ember.  It has power.  How will this power be used?



How to calculate Samhain and Bealtaine:

Mother's Day is the modern Bealtaine celebration:

PS- got a bunch of troll hits about a week ago to my second to last post - God Is In The Rain- about the trolls. I was scrolling all the comments about how crazy I am on their site, usual blathering, never anything new.  But the one thing that always gets me, the ubiquitous "If she was psychic why didn't she know?"  When said by a friend or acquaintance in jest it is still tiresome but it generally makes me smile.  Right?  Why not indeed?  But when it comes from the trolls and troglodytes it always really hits me how unaware and exterior their lives are.  No wonder they don't have anything better to do than troll. (Which is also why I just don't have time to even have an emotional response to them, outside of curiosity). 

Being psychic is not being omniscient or omnipotent.  It is expanded awareness and receiving information that others do not, or in ways that others do not.  That does not mean access to all knowledge at all times.  Especially knowledge of future events. The future is not set or certain.  Predictions are just that- predictions.  Today's glance at the troll page (actually from December, for some reason it was active a few weeks ago and I had 140 hits from it- no clue why) was actually a nice reminder that if I didn't have that knowledge or ability- psychic, magickal, etc- I might live in a world as bleak as those folks.

(The link was too long and weird to post- it was on qaster and posted from a bunch a twitter convos about me and my blog.  I think qaster is one of those spam/phishing sites...  The trolls have increased my page hits times 7.  Their tiny, narrow, little minds seem eager to learn more about me.)

It was timely and appropriate reminder for me, for this Bealtaine.  Things are changing and the trolls are exploding from their own internal combustion.  With Focus on my side I can just shut them out and deal with what is real and meaningful for me.  Peace out.