Saturday, December 28, 2013


Okay so there is an event being promoted on facebook

When I first saw the event in my feed, I thought "wtf? this can't be real."  I went to the page and it was filled with people making fun of the event.  So I thought, "right, it is a hoax."  No way are 60 thousand people stupid enough to do this.

I was happily commenting and poking fun at the occasional right wing whack job that posted.  Then the event admin posted something about how the "vile LGBTQ" (that q is for queer) had completely taken over the page and "shown their true colours" (rainbow).

I was having so much fun, and making all of my wonderful points about the religious zealots and haters, that I thought I would compile them here for any other pagan/godless/queers/queer supporters that wanted to use them.

1) Heaven is a gated community filled with intolerant people.  They find most people disgusting and amoral and just plain BAD.  The only conclusion here is that what they call Hell is really only torture for them.  For the rest of us it will probably be a lot of fun, since those intolerant people won't be around.  Bring on the Rapture!  Let the Apocalypse reign it's fire! More space on the planet for us sinners! YAY!

2) No matter what you say about a zealous, conservative Christian (the Christian Taliban) you can NEVER trump their God.  You don't have the threat of eternal torture and suffering.  You can call them any name you like, but making them suffer only gets them brownie points with their God.  They were made in his image, and he is a the TOP when it comes to Haters.  This is a God that had no qualms about impregnating his own human mother so that he could be born on earth as a human, and crucify himself (this God really loves gory torture and painful sacrifice) to wash away "original sin" which He also created.  I can't think of any other deity that spews as much hate as the conservative Christian God... except maybe the zealous Islamic Allah.

3) These people don't worship because they "love God".  Love is an act of free will, and the Bible tells you that God is angry, vengeful, spying old man that needs constant attention and obedience.  You love Him or you go to Hell.  Refer to points one and two.

4) They need everyone to behave as they do because they think things like "gay marriage leads to bestiality and pedophilia."  See there are people out there that need a strict God to tell them how to behave, because they can't tell the difference between consenting adults and children and/or animals!  They think that the rest of us will run mad in the streets, raping anything in our way, BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT THEY WOULD DO.  Think about it.  Same thing with their feelings of oppression.  Phil Robertson's show being suspended is a violation of their "free speech."  When you really look at how crazy that is, you see that these are people that are afraid.  And they should be...

5) They should be scared.  Their way of life doesn't work for the rest of us anymore.  A black man was elected President.  Most people support gay marriage.  Marijuana is becoming legal.  White Conservative "I will send you to hell if you don't accept me as your Lord and Saviour" Jesus isn't in control anymore and without Him they have no power.  Being white and Christian isn't enough anymore.

6) These people don't really believe what they say.  If they truly believed that they only had 80 years here with us sinners, and an eternity with their God in Heaven, they would not be worried about the rest of us.  (Nor would they likely be watching Duck Dynasty.)  The Bible makes it pretty clear that there are only 144,000 places in Heaven and that is it.  Plus that "your name is already written", or possibly, it ISN'T written.  Then you will be in hell, with people like me.  And Chaz Bono. 

7) This is not about "doing what is right" or "standing up for what you believe in".  Read the Old Testement enough and you learn God is crap shoot.  Who is God's best man? Job?  Well, God is bored and wants to play a game with the Devil so he fucks with Job.  And what about that lovely set up with Abraham and his son? Oh, and the best one, Judas.  How was Jesus to be crucified if no one had turned him in? If God the The Father set this up for Himself on Earth, why did Judas take the blame? No wonder these people are so confused.

8) If you want to have some fun, suggest to them that all of the sinners they see are actually an illusion created by the Devil.  Lucifer's original job was to strengthen the resolve of the righteous man by offering him temptation.  Now, temptation is a funny thing.  Think of it like this: if you are on a diet and someone offers you a piece of cake and you say no, that is fine.  But if you say "no" and then try to stop everyone else from eating it, and spend all your time pointing out all the cakes in the world, your really have a problem.  You haven't actually rejected the temptation.  The reverse, you are OBSESSED by it.  As Jesus famously said:
"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
Westboro Baptist Church, by that standard, is committing homosexual acts by the truckload. 

9) Christian conservatives are basically Catholic.  They got rid of the Apocrypha, but kept the other books the early Catholic Church chose for the Bible.  Even in original Aramaic and Greek, they are still going with a canon that was chosen by the Catholic Church.  And they never question it.  Mary Magdalene is never associated with the stoned prostitute in the Bible.  It is all a piece of Catholic fiction from Saint Augustine, meant to divide women into whores or Madonnas.  No new writings about Jesus have ever been accepted by the Protestant churches.  Not the Gospel of Thomas, or Judas, or Mary Magdalene.  No Nag Hammadi scrolls. Nothing.  Next time a "Christian" tells you they are different from the Catholics, point this out.

10)  If Hitler had accepted Jesus as his Lord and Saviour before he killed himself, he would go to Heaven, right?  Because God loves everyone that accepts Him as Lord and Saviour.  Unless you are gay.  Or get an abortion.  Or was it just that Hitler, when it was suggested that he had a Jewish grand-parent, re-wrote his own Aryan birth laws to exclude only himself and Jesus?  For people that say they are just here to earn their "reward" in "heaven" (see point number 1) they sure are interested in the laws here on earth.

These points aren't as good as when you have the comments of these little Limbaugh quoting robots to go up against directly, but I hope they will help those of you that find yourself having a conversation with one of these people.  Do it right, and you can be as successful as Matt Damon's Angel Loki in the beginning of the film Dogma, when he convinces a nun to give up her vows.

For the record, I love Jesus.  I actually believe that he was one of the first Macro Humans, and that in the future we will all be like him-- able to heal ourselves, levitate, resurrect the dead, and most importantly, understand that we will only have a good life when we love everyone and create a world of tolerance and understanding.

I think there are as many Gods as there are people. I think Science is a kind of God, although I know many atheists would not like that characterization. And the more people with a loving and accepting God, the better off we will all be.  As long as a person's God is a hater and torturer and condemner, we will have people that hate and torture and condemn.  There is no salvation in a God that offers it only through fear of hell.  In fact, it leads to evil.  If a person has already "sinned" and is "beyond redemption" what is left for them but to embrace the hate? 

Give me a God that understands and nurtures and accepts.  One that truly leads, and leads somewhere worth going.  

Of course, as demonstrated above, most of this is not about God.  It's about self-righteousness.  Here are some exact quotes from the page:
Please come out and support National Chick-Phil-A Day. Tuesday Jan. 12 2014 Stand up and be counted for free speech when you visit Chick-fil-a !


Reading the thoughtless worldly godless views of some of these fokes is sad. They dont know Jesus is the only way to heaven. This whole thing is an issue of the heart.

I thing some people will be wishing they had a back bone to stand for the truth when the world stands for SIN and wickness. Satan trys to twist the truth.. God loves everyone and hates their sin. So if you think christians are going around supporting a lifestyle of sin you are mistaken.  

Im praying for you to see what your seeking for. God is your creator and he is your God too even though you have rejected him.

Some don't understand what the battles are all about and are making false assumptions. Chick-fil-A and Duck Dynasty are taking a stand for marriage being made of one man and one woman. They are not attacking people for being gay. They are not like those of 'Westboro'. Please know that Westboro does not represent the God of the Bible. They represent themselves as God and are trying to bring God's judgment down on America because of Gay people. The Bible teaches that marriage is made of one man and one woman. It also teaches us that every person has sinned, whether it be lying, stealing, pornography, witchcraft, pride, anger, murder, abortion, evil thoughts, manipulation, disrespect toward authority, and several other things, including homosexuality. God offers salvation to all of us through the Cross of Jesus Christ. God also loves people and wants people to be free from bondage. The bondage of sin is not good for any of us, but the Enemy of our souls tells us that God wants to take our fun away and give us things that are not good. God wants us to be free so we can know Him, and we can experience His power and forgiveness of sins, plus have eternal life in Him. He paid a serious price so we could have that. The ball is in our courts determining whether we will respond or not. We are not here to hate people but to offer them what God has provided, so they can be set free. God set us free and had mercy on us. Now we will share the good news with others. Thanks for supporting Chick-fil-A and Phil Robertson as they stand up for what is right and true.

All I have to say is I love god and I read the bible and I am a proud Christian. I support phil 100% and I pray for all you nonbelievers that may God have mercy on your soul come Judgment Day...
(That last one was a woman that had the Confederate Flag as her cover photo. Nuff said.)
Remember peeps, their Jesus only loves you if you love him-- like hookers used to ask for their pay "Do you love me sweetie? Cause I could love you."  (Now they say "are you looking for some business?", damn commerce has taken over everything ;)  If you don't love him (or you are gay), he still loves you, but you have to go to hell.  


PS-- also, feel free to tell them you will make an offering to Ganesh or pray to Allah (or Hecate or Zeus) for their salvation.  Then point out that they most likely feel the same you do about having them pray for you.

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