BODY COUNT, THE PATRIARCHY, AND THE INCEL PHENOMENON IN THE US (IMO)

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Another facebook comment that turned into a thesis.  I should write a book about men. 

So this is going around in various groups.  Pretty sure it was written by a man.  Posted it on my timeline and someone commented something along the lines of "why are these men so obsessed?"

EDIT: I don't think 58 is that high, btw. Not for a woman under the age of 60 in the US or other similar developed nations that lives within a one hour drive of a major city. 

In all seriousness I do think there is something that borders between patriarchal culture/ nurture but also something that is nature in cis men- their brains have some differences to cis women. The three biggest regard shape in some key areas, but there is also the fact that during ejaculation they are flooded with high levels of testosterone.

And given that cis women have about 1% of the amount of testosterone that is the baseline (before ejaculation) in cis men, and given that those same levels also occur during acts of violence and victories or thrills or athletic achievement, just the parameters of our thinking is different.

(There is also a study that has been willfully misrepresented and ignored, granted a really small data sample- but cis men do not hear women's voices in the speech and language left brain, but in the musical area of the right brain- we sound illogical to them. Women process the speech of all genders in the language area.)

Anyhoo- so also take into consideration that most men get a great thrill in making a woman orgasm, not necessarily or primarily out of caring for her, or because they love the act, but because it is a victory, an accomplishment. Like making a woman laugh. Or the dark side, making her scared, or fucking her whether she wants to or not (rape). All of these things are related to the man's feeling of superiority. (EDIT: his ego, in other words)

Then there is also the studies that show that if a man finds a woman attractive, he often believes that she is interested in him. Even if she is not, and even if she is not making any behaviour towards him, they will often think that she is coming on to them. (And then studies where men did not catch actual flirting, but often mistook nice politeness and smiling as flirting.)

Then there is the innate aggression men feel towards the mother, the all powerful female that ruled their early lives-when and how they ate dressed spoke etc. Especially in patriarchal households, small children are the domain of the mother. And unlike the female children, the male children "escape" her power when they become "the man" and get to rule her. Payback time.

And then conversely, we have the single mother, or the all powerful mother, and something that hopefully will get more investigating and honesty in the future, but I've seen hinted enough to believe it is a fairly widespread phenomena- where pubescent boys, having had all of their other needs taken care of by mother, have an irrational desire or expectation of sexual experience and knowledge given to them by mommy.

And even without that, many men have experiences in puberty where the site of any naked woman, including their mothers and other family members, gives them a hard on. Adolescence, for many men, can best be described as "my cock often responds inappropriately and is outside of my control and that is terrifying."

I think this is one reason that these really patriarchal societies focus on pregnancy for everything. And why birth control alone is terrifying. If the man can commit incest without impregnating a family member, what is to stop him from having sex with her. And I think this is one reason women have put up with this loss of bodily control and subjugation for millennia- because better to be raped by only one man than by any man, including your fathers, sons, brothers, etc. I think this is why so many women are okay with conservative Christianity. It's societal Stockholm syndrome with the added fear of multiple hostage takers.

And then there is the mother that does too much for her son, laughs everytime he drools, overpraises him, micromanages him, or conversely, the mother that can never be pleased but constantly dominates- except when with her own husband or partner or partners. These men have to have the woman's sexual interest be about them, so they can't pay for sex and they need to be abusive to women because that is part of their "healing" part of the emotional "orgasm" they need.

(If you believe that all adult relationships are based on our first relationships- with our parents or primary caretakers. Like Harville Hendrix, who I am a big adherent of, and who helped me with my own issues. Why so many of these men really need a good Domme, too. They aren't going to get the satisfaction they are looking for until they submit to the powerful sexual female- another thesis.)

And then, finally, men want as much sex as possible with as many partners as possible. I do believe that is their default. They want to see as many naked women as they can, as much sex as they can. Even if they don't fuck around, or go to strip clubs or watch porn, etc. I've met very very few cis men that did not have those desires if given the opportunity to reveal them- and the opportunity really depended on them as individuals. For some it is a drunk girl passed out they can rape, for others it is a safe space conversation (someone like me) etc.

So you take average Joe Blow American, surrounded by this ridiculous toxic culture, living in a society where women have enormous power in comparison to all of human civilisation and most of the current planet, marriage is no longer the way most men can get a lifetime of sex, and there is no singular, or even navigable pathways that are applicable to most men for getting laid, without engaging a sex worker, which is often not possible even if they have the desire and the money. And also carries loads of confusing societal feelings and thoughts.

So these men want to have a lot of experience, but that is impossible for most men to achieve.  And they also have a lot of confusing and complicated feelings about women and the power women have over men sexually and as mother’s- the real root of the Madonna/Whore dichotomy.  

Peace out, peeps.